The wealth of the person as personalities in many ways depends on his personal quality, that how he has provided with the nature such as: wit, beauty, all the manner of talents, but also that how he uses these qualities in life. It's not a secret, that not all people can to obtain the puted aim , and not all of these people, have this aim . So, to my mind wealth of the person as individual depends on the presence of this purpose in their life. Sometimes, when a person happens to anyway to go contrary to, encirclement, close, fate. When а person tries to prove itself that he is а personality, individuality . But all of this can not can be simply so. Is everyone gets to this by itself? How? Whence comes the self-respect? I do not know, when I understood and belived that I can if shall powerfully want this. The main to wish. To wish heavily, desperately and believe that life is given to person not simply so, and that his desire will be realized necessarily.
When I was small, the God has not rewarded me nor talent nor beauty. I did not know how beautifully to draw, I did not have a nice voice to sing, my parents did not have money, for teaching me music or dance. I didn't want to do this I was so shy and awkward. For a long time I stayed into a shade, quiet and imperceptible to the majority of my classmate. I have early opened world of the books for myself , and it was my salvation/ The other life, the world of beautiful princes and hounted princesses. The world, where good people more and where good always wins.
I grew. But nothing be not changed. I looked at people, they watched through of me, and not noticed. But if noticed, that only therefor to say or make something galling. It was considered by person by valor to offend that who will not answer. Sometimes, after years, I wondered, as I could to allow so long offend myself not giving rebuff? Why I nor reek came short determinations to grasp something heavy and omit it on the head of the offender? After all, there were such thoughts? There were!! But were and other: It will be painfully for him.
The questions, questions, questions did not give me to sleep.
I thought about that, what can I do, and how to be a necessary for other people? What can I do for that? I want to be noticed!! I wanted to have friends I became to observe, for what my classmate respect and llike others? Someone well studied. Someone played on violin. Somebody came to beautiful cloth. Somebody always has money. Then I became to ask myself: what can I wit or know such, what will not die and does not know nobody? It was my first goal, first plan in my life.
What should I do? I was already fifteen years, I was tall, painful and awkward. I thought about an affair, in which I could to overcome what some difficulties and obstacles. I was ready to break myself, my weak body and feeble spirit. I hated my own hands, such awkward and my appearance, such sleazyl. I hated myself for my indecision and inefficacy. I understood that if I do not love and do not respect myself, that what can I wait from others?Understood, but didn't do nothing therefor . to t correct the situation. It was necessary to learn? how to love myself, respect myself; and believe in myself. And here is once upon a time in the morning I awoke with a smile. I appeared in the dreams something good. That that lung, air , fill up bosom from delight and from sensation of happiness. At this day I have came to a conclusion. It was necessary to learn how to love myself and respect myself.
I have selected the sport. Not easily to start, when you are fifteen already, and when your persons of the same age many obtained already. It was necessary to choose such sport,where possible and it is necessary to start late. This must be very difficult and necessarily dangerously. This must be something that be able to do only me. Also, I wanted that nobody could not only repeat, but even think about this. So, I came to group where trained and taught to jump with a parachute.
Heavy, but interesting time began.
The drills on many hours, stadying at school, where nobody did not be aware for my new fascination by sky. The daily drills... The cross-country race on 3 kilometers whereupon limbering-up, exercises for each group of the muscles, afterwards again run(running;race;jogging) with(since) speedup, afterwards occupations for simulator, wheel, lopping, repetition landings, repetition detachments, repetition action in air, some special exercises for hands....After this we moved over to common-room, where concerned with solely stretching, afterwards, in the class where were taught the theory. The first time I seemed that I will be crazy...The body did not hear me, breathing lost, power came short. But I looked to other, I saw that it is difficult not only for me. If they can, that why can not I? I can , and I willl!! I will and I shall be able to!! Gradually, the loads have begun to bring the joy. The workout have consolidated my body, I ceased to be ill. The muscles become rubber-band, body flexible and poslushnoe. All of this came not immediately, and not easy.
Poor my ma. She did not know, rejoice her or cry. On the one hand she saw that positive change, which have come of me, but on the other hand, she waited with fear the jump. I saw, what eyes she looked at me every time, when I went away on aerodrome. I grateful her that she understood, how it was necessary for me and did not prevent my .fascination. I saw how she was afraid .At this time I did not understand it. Only presently, having my own kids I understand what is an awe for their life. But then I have simply puted her before fact : Tomorrow I'm leaving, ma. I was merrily, I was waiting so long time, and already nobody and nothing could not me stop. My dream began to come true. I presented, how it will be ? How? If only not to trot... I over and over was asked again , it is difficult to make the first step in emptiness? At all no...It easy to make the step, when you do not know what waits you ahead of. Much(Far) difficult was to make it in the second once. When before eye are rolled pictures, which you already saw, and that is presently repeated. Sweetly and terribly...Once;after once...this feeling does not pass never...when you are standing onthe border, legs a little are a little folded over, bell pings , the second time, the third time for you. You make the deep breath, push and step. Only one. But afterwards you fly, you feel bounce and density of the air, which holds you. The seconds, one, two, three, four, five, well else a little more...no, time!! The jerk, ring in your hand, and next behind pat opened dome above you. The silence, transparent piercing silence. Fields around you...Some where on the field a tractor works , a plane goes for landing. And landing for me. Ah as not to want to leave the sky but the land all closer and closer. Approaches all quicker and quicker. Well here is and all, I seem live, jolly and very complacent. I have soon noticed, as gradually changed to me relation of classmates, particularly boys. Two of them soon too came to our group of sportsman, but afterwards became my friends.
It was a victory. Maybe small, the first, but victory. I have understood that I can obtain the puted purposes, if sincerely and heavily want this. I have done something, than I could be proud of, and for that could respect myself. It was my first and the most difficult lesson in life, and I thankful God that I had this lesson. Never late to start all over again. Never late to learn something new. Never late to know itself, and never late become better.
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