В колонках играет - Alanis - You oughta know
Angela Montenegro: I wouldn't bet a date with Colin Farrell on it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I know him. He's funny.
Angela Montenegro: That's Will Ferrell, sweetie. Colin Farrell is hot.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: God does not make mistakes.
Angela Montenegro: I don't know - putting testicles on the outside doesn't seem like such a good idea.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah it's pretty big, right. Bigger than the one you have.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Excuse me, it's not the size that matters. It's how you *use* it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well I think size is pretty important.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The point is you shouldn't have a gun in the first place.
Angela Montenegro: If you do have one, bigger is always better.

В колонках играет - Divinyls-I touch myself

Giles: We have to talk.
Buffy: I don't suppose this is about happy squirrels?
Giles: Vampires.
Buffy: That was my next guess.

Xander: I laugh in the face of danger. Then run and hide until it goes away.

Willow: Happy hunting.
Buffy: Wish me monsters.

Xander: [to Buffy] Can I have you? Duh... heh-heh... can I help you?

Buffy: Who are you?
Angel: Let's just say ... I'm a friend.
Buffy: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel: I didn't say I was yours.

Buffy: Angel?
Angel: Hmm?
Buffy: Do you snore?
Angel: I don't know. It's been a long time since anybody's been in a position to let me know.

Xander: Now I'm sayin' something. You saw him naked?

Buffy: I invited you into my home and you attacked my family. Why?
Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends. And their friends' children. For a hundred years I offered an ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.

The Master: A dream is a wish your heart makes.

Principal Snyder: There're some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.
Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five.

Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.

Buffy: I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?
Xander: The important thing is you believe that.

[Angel tracks Buffy to the graveyard where she's patrolling.]
Angel: What are you saying, you want to have a date?
Buffy: No.
Angel: You don't want to have a date?
Buffy: Who said "date?" I ... I, I never said "date."
Angel: Right. You just want to have coffee or something.
Buffy: Coffee?
Angel: I knew this was going to happen.
Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?
Angel: You're sixteen years old. I'm two hundred and forty-one ...
Buffy: I've done the math.
Angel: You don't know what you're doing, you don't know what you want ...
Buffy: Oh. No, I ... I think I do. I want out of this conversation. [starts to stalk off]
Angel: Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's going to lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel: I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Angel: [grabs her roughly] This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I want to die.

Drusilla: Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?
Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.

Davey Jones: Damn you, Jack Sparrow...

Tia Dalma: Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.
Jack Sparrow: ...This is a jar of dirt.
Tia Dalma: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: ...Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Tia Dalma: If you don't want it, give it back.
Jack Sparrow: [greedily] No!
Jack Sparrow: Then it helps.

Davey Jones: You are neither dead nor dying. What is your purpose here?
Will Turner: [quickly] Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.
Davey Jones: What is your purpose here?
Will Turner: Jack Sparrow? Sent me to settle his debt?
Davey Jones: [Laughs] Did he, now? I'm sorely tempted to accept that offer.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Wondering how it's played?
Will Turner: I understand. It's a game of deception. But your bet includes all the dice, not just your own. What are they wagering?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Oh, the only thing we have. Years of service.
Will Turner: So any crew member can be challenged?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Aye. Anyone.
Will Turner: I challenge Davy Jones.
Davy Jones: [Davy Jones is stepping down the stairs and as he does, barnacles and mussels hanging on the steps retract] I accept, mate

Will Turner: You want me to find this?
Jack Sparrow: No. You want you to find this, because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face. Savvy?
Will Turner: This is going to save Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: How much do you know about Davy Jones?
Will Turner: Not much.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah, it's going to save Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Swann: [as Will, Jack, and Norrington fight] Stop it! Will!
Will Turner: Guard the chest!
Elizabeth Swann: [indignantly] No! This is barbaric! This is no way for grown men to settle... oh, fine! Let's just haul out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything! I've had it! I've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked pirates!
[starts throwing rocks at them]
Elizabeth Swann: Enough! This is madness!
[faking]
Elizabeth Swann: Oh! Oh, the heat!
[pretends to faint, then opens one eye to see that none of them have noticed]

Jack Sparrow: It's funny what a man will do to forestall his final judgment.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: You made a deal with him too, Jack. He raised the Pearl from the depths for you. Thirteen years you've been her captain.
Jack Sparrow: Technically...
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: You won't be able to talk yourself out of this. The terms that apply to me apply to you as well. One soul, bound to crew a hundred years upon his ship.
Jack Sparrow: Yes, but the Flying Dutchmen already has a captain, so there's really...
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Then it's the locker for you! Jones' terrible leviathan will find you, and drag the Pearl back to the depths and you along with it.
Jack Sparrow: Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I've already told you, Jack. Your time is up. He comes now.

Lord Cutler Beckett: No doubt you've discovered that loyalty is no longer the currency of the realm, as your father believes.
Elizabeth Swann: Then what is?
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm afraid currency is the currency of the realm.
Elizabeth Swann: I expect, then, that we can come to some sort of understanding. I'm here to negotiate.
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm listening.
[Elizabeth pulls out a gun]
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm listening intently.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: [after whipping Will] The bosun prides himself on cleaving flesh from bone with every swing!
Will Turner: So I am to believe that what you did was an act of compasion?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Yes...

Jack Sparrow: [after searching the shattered jar of dirt for Davy Jones' heart] Where is it? Where is the thump-thump?

Jack Sparrow: [with his back to Elizabeth, thinking that she is a man] Come to join my crew, lad? Welcome aboard!
Elizabeth Swann: I'm here to find the man I love.
Jack Sparrow: [startled] Deeply flattered, boy, but my first and only love is the sea.
Elizabeth Swann: Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: [turning around] Elizabeth!
[to Gibbs]
Jack Sparrow: Hide the rum.

Gibbs: [in Tortuga signing sailors up] And what makes you think you're worthy to crew the Black Pearl?
Very Old Man: Truth be told, I've never sailed a day in me life. I think I should get out and see the world while I'm still young.
Gibbs: You'll do, make your mark. Next!
Skinny Man: My wife ran off with my dog and I'm drunk for a month and I don't give a ass rat's if I live or die.
Gibbs: Perfect, next!

Jack Sparrow: We are very much alike, you and I, I and you... us.
Elizabeth Swann: Oh. Except for a sense of honor and decency and a moral center. And personal hygiene.
Jack Sparrow: [sniffs his armpit and looks back] Trifles.

Gibbs: Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea!
Jack Sparrow: Yes to the first, yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible.
Gibbs: That seems a bit contradictory, Captain.
Jack Sparrow: I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!

Davy Jones: How do you know of the key?

Davey Jones: They're here. And I cannot set foot on land for near of a decade.
Maccus: You'll trust us to act in your stead.
Davey Jones: I'll trust you to know what awaits you should you fail!

Norrington: Come on, then! Who wants some? Form an orderly line, I'll have you all one by one. Come on, who's first?
Elizabeth Swann: [Grabs bottle from Norrington's hand and smashes it over his head] I just wanted the pleasure of doing that myself!

Elizabeth Swann: Jack, the letters, give them back.
Jack Sparrow: No. Persuade me.
Elizabeth Swann: You do know Will taught me how to handle a sword.
Jack Sparrow: As I said, persuade me.

Jack Sparrow: [holds up jar of dirt] Oi! Fishface! Lose something? Eh? Scungilli!
[falls down stairs, holds up jar again]
Jack Sparrow: Got it! Come to negotiate, eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I got.
Jack Sparrow: [sing-song] I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

Mr. Mercer: The last of our ships is returned.
Lord Cutler Beckett: Is there any news on the chest?
Mr. Mercer: None. But one of the ships did pick up a man adrift at sea.
[drops the Letters of Marque on the desk]
Mr. Mercer: He had these.
[Beckett opens the letter to look at it before looking up at Norrington]
Norrington: I took the liberty of filling in my name.
Lord Cutler Beckett: If you intend to claim these, then you must have something to trade. Do you have the Compass?
Norrington: [shakes his head] Better.
[tosses a bag onto Beckett's desk]
Norrington: The heart of Davey Jones.

Elizabeth Swann: We're not getting out of this.
Norrington: Not with the chest. Into the boat.
[takes chest]
Elizabeth Swann: You're mad.
Norrington: Don't wait for me.
[runs away from the longboat with the chest]
Jack Sparrow: Uh, I say we respect his final wish.

Jack Sparrow: [pulls out sword and threatens Will] Can't let you do that, William. 'Cause if Jones is dead, who's to call his terrible beastie off the hunt, eh? Now, if you please. The key.
Will Turner: [Pulls his sword on Jack] I keep the promises I make, Jack. I intend to free my father. I hope you're here to see it.
Norrington: [Norrington draws his sword, points it at Will] I can't let you do that, either. So sorry.
Jack Sparrow: [to Norrington] I knew you'd warm up to me eventually.
Norrington: [Norrington points his sword at Jack] Lord Beckett desires the contents of that chest. I deliver it, I get my life back.
Jack Sparrow: Ah. The dark side of ambition.
Norrington: Oh, I prefer to see it as the promise of redemption.

Tia Dalma: The Pearl's gone, along with its captain.
Gibbs: And already the world seems a little less bright. He fooled us all, right to the end. But I guess that honest streak finally won out. To Jack Sparrow.
Ragetti: Never another like Captain Jack.
Pintel: He was a gentleman of fortune, he was.
Elizabeth Swann: He was a good man.
Will Turner: If there was anything could be done to bring him back...
Tia Dalma: Would you do it? What would any of you do? Would you said to the ends of the earth and back to fetch back witty Jack, and him precious Pearl?
Gibbs, Ragetti, Pintel: Aye!
Elizabeth Swann: Yes.
Tia Dalma: All right. But if you will brave the weird and haunted shores at world's end, then you will need a captain who knows those waters.
Barbossa: [enters] So tell me, what's become of my ship?

Gibbs: [Tia Dalma just uncovered Jack's Black Spot] The Black Spot!
[he does a strange superstitous dance]
Ragetti: The Black Spot!
Pintel: Black Spot!
[Pintel and Ragetti do the same dance]
Jack Sparrow: My eyesight's as good as ever, just so you know.

Scarlett: Jack Sparrow?
Giselle: Haven't seen him in a month.
Scarlett: When you find him, will you give him a message?
[Slaps Will in the face]

Norrington: [drunk and angry] So am I worthy to serve under Captain Jack Sparrow...
[he draws his pistol and points it at Jack, who is hiding behind a pole]
Norrington: ... or should I just kill you now?
Jack Sparrow: [tries and fails to hide behind his pole] You're hired!
Norrington: Sorry. Old habits and all that.
[smiles and prepares to pull the trigger]

Jack Sparrow: [talking about Jack's debt to Jones] You already have my payment. One soul to serve on your ship is already over there.
Davey Jones: One soul is not equal to another.
Jack Sparrow: Ah-ha! So, we've established my proposal as sound in principle. Now, we're just haggling over price.

Gibbs: [while recruiting in Tortuga] And what's *your* story?
Norrington: My story? It's exactly the same as your story, just one chapter behind. I chased a man across the seven seas. The pursuit cost me my crew... my commission... and my life.
[he swigs some rum]
Gibbs: [a pause, as it dawns on him] ... Commodore?
Norrington: [suddenly angry] No, not anymore, weren't you *listening*?

Crewmember: Me have one arm and a bum leg.
Gibbs: It's the crow's nest for you.

Marty: [after burning off a few of the Kraken's tentacles] Did we kill it?
Gibbs: No... we just made it angry.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Jones's terrible leviathan will find you, and drag the Pearl back to the depths and you along with it!
Jack Sparrow: Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I already told you, Jack. Your time is up.
[he grabs Jack's hand and folds it into a fist, as if handing him something]
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: It comes now, drawn with ravenous hunger to the man what bears the Black Spot.
[Jack unfolds his hand and sees the Black Spot appear on his palm]

Gibbs: [Jack's hat is tossed overboard by the monkey while the Black Pearl is fleeing the Kraken] Jack's hat!
[the crew gathers at the rail]
Gibbs: Clear about!
Jack Sparrow: No, no! Leave it!
[the whole crew stares at him incredulously]
Jack Sparrow: Run!
[he runs away]
Gibbs: [he looks at the crew] Back to yer stations, the lot o' ye!
[he finds Jack hiding underneath the stairs]
Gibbs: Jack?
Jack Sparrow: Shhh.
Gibbs: For the love of Mother and Child, Jack, what's coming after us?
Jack Sparrow: [short pause] Nothing.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Once you've sworn an oath to the Dutchman, there's no leaving it. Not until your debt is paid.
Will Turner: I've sworn no oath.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: [grasps Will's shoulders] Then you must get away.

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] One word love: curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day you won't be able to resist.

Guard: Mr. Swann...
Governor Weatherby Swann: *Governor* Swann, still. Do you think I wear this wig to keep my head warm?

Jack Sparrow: [after being covered in mucus after the Kraken roars at him] Not so bad...
[wipes the slime from his face]
Jack Sparrow: [he looks down and sees his old hat] Oh!
[reaches for his hat and puts it on]
Jack Sparrow: 'Ello, beastie.
[smiles and draws his sword]

Jack Sparrow: So what's your plan, then?
Will Turner: I row over, search the ship until I find your bloody key.
Jack Sparrow: And if there are crewmen?
Will Turner: I cut down anyone in my path.
Jack Sparrow: [turns to Gibbs] I like it. Simple, easy to remember.

Tia Dalma: The compass you bartered from me it cannot lead you to this?
Jack Sparrow: Maybe. Why?
Tia Dalma: Ah, Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants.

Jack Sparrow: No, no! More wood! Big fire! I am chief! Want big fire!

Pintel: You know you can't read.
Ragetti: It's the bible, you get credit for tryin'.

Pintel: Haul loose the mooring line!
Ragetti: He's got me eye! He won't give it back.
Pintel: Well how'd you get it back last time?

Jack Sparrow: Mr. Gibbs.
Gibbs: Captain.
Jack Sparrow: We have a need to travel upriver.
Gibbs: By "need," do you mean a trifling need? Fleeting? As in, say, a passing fancy?
Jack Sparrow: No, a resolute and unyielding need.

Jack Sparrow: [heavily] She's only a ship, mate.

Lord Cutler Beckett: I care not for cursed Aztec gold. My desires are not so provincial. There's more than one chest of value in these waters. So perhaps you may wish to enhance your offer.
Elizabeth Swann: [cocks her gun] Consider in your calculations that you robbed me of my wedding night.

Ragetti: [studies his upside-down Bible intently, then looks up] Well, I say it was Divine Providence what escaped us from jail.
Pintel: And *I* say it was me bein' clever.
[turns to the dog with the keys]
Pintel: Ain't that right, Poochie?
Ragetti: Well, how'd you know it weren't Divine Providence what inspired you to *be* clever?

Hadras: [chuckles evilly] Your bravery is wasted. I shall pry the chest away from your cold... dead... hands.
Norrington: [looks around, then tosses the empty chest into Hadras' hands] Here you go!

Davey Jones: [after watching the Kraken devour Jack] Jack Sparrow... Our debt is settled.

Palifico: The Captain goes down with his ship.

Maccus: Turns out not even Jack Sparrow can best the devil!

Cotton's Parrot: [Squawk] Don't eat me! Don't eat me!
Will Turner: [looks bewildered] I'm not going to eat you!

Jack Sparrow: You mistrust me? Listen, you can mistrust him, trust me.

Gibbs: Where's the Commodore?
Jack Sparrow: He fell behind.
Gibbs: [solemnly] My prayers be with him.
[suddenly brightens]
Gibbs: Best not wallow in our grief!

Elizabeth Swann: Why doesn't your compass work?
Jack Sparrow: ...My compass works fine.

Gibbs: And mark my words, what bodes ill for Jack Sparrow bodes ill for us all.

Lord Cutler Beckett: A marriage interrupted... or fate intervenes?

Captain Bellamy: [to his crew] I want you to search the ship and find her. Oh and, uh, she's probably naked.
[the crew hurries]

Ragetti: He's got me eye.

Norrington: Do excuse me while I kill the man who ruined my life.
Will Turner: Be my guest.
Jack Sparrow: Let us examine that claim for a moment, former Commodore, shall we? Who was it that, at the very moment you had a notorious pirate safely behind bars, saw fit to free said pirate and take your dearly beloved all to hisself, eh? So whose fault is it *really* that you've ended up a rum-pot deckhand what takes orders from pirates?
Norrington: ENOUGH!
[Jack somersaults off roof, Norrington turns to Will]
Norrington: Unfortunately Mr. Turner, he's right!

Jack Sparrow: Have you not met Will Turner? He's noble, heroic - terrific soprano. Worth at least four... maybe three and a half. And did I happen to mention... he's in love? With a girl. Due to be married. Betrothed. Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony, eh?

Jack Sparrow: Darling, I am truly unhappy to have to tell you this, but through an unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable series of circumstances that had nothing whatsoever to do with me, poor Will has been press-ganged into Davy Jones's crew.

Jack Sparrow: To what do I owe the pleasure of your carbuncle?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: He sent me. Davy Jones.

Davey Jones: Do you fear... death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare, all your sins punished?

Ragetti: [balancing a shovel] I could join the circus!

Jack Sparrow: [to Pintel and Ragetti] Guard the boat, mind the tide... don't touch my dirt.

Jack Sparrow: [Jack looks at the sleeping crew] As you were, gents.

Gibbs: ...Commodore?
Norrington: [irritably] No, not anymore, weren't you listening?

Jack Sparrow: How did you get here?
Will Turner: Sea turtles, mate. A pair of them strapped to my feet.
Jack Sparrow: Not so easy, is it?

Elizabeth Swann: Thank you, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: We're not free yet, love.
Elizabeth Swann: You came back. I always knew you were a good man.
[kisses him to distract him, then handcuffs him to the mast]
Elizabeth Swann: It's after you, not the ship. It's not us. This is the only way, don't you see?
[unconvincingly]
Elizabeth Swann: I'm not sorry.
Jack Sparrow: [almost understandingly] Pirate.

Davey Jones: Let them taste the triple guns.
Ogilvey: Aye, Captain.

Maccus: The boy's not here. He must've been claimed by the sea.
Davey Jones: I *am* the sea.

Tia Dalma: You know of Davy Jones? A man of the sea, a great sailor. Until he run afoul of that which vexes all men.
Will Turner: What vexes all men?
Tia Dalma: What indeed.
Gibbs: The sea?
Pintel: Sums?
Ragetti: The dichotomy of good and evil?
Jack Sparrow: A woman.
Tia Dalma: A woman. He fell in love.
Gibbs: No, no, I heard it was the sea he fell in love with.
Tia Dalma: [annoyed] Same story, different versions. And all are true. See, it was a woman as changing and harsh and untamable as the sea. Him never stopped loving her. But the pain it caused was to much to live with, but not enough to cause him to die.
Will Turner: What exactly did he put into the chest?
Tia Dalma: Him heart.
Ragetti: Literally or figuratively?
Pintel: He couldn't literally put his heart in a chest. Could he?
Tia Dalma: It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings.

Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks?
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find this key?
Jack Sparrow: Now you're not making any sense at all.

Will Turner: [the crew members are hanging off in two cages near the cliffs and are climbing back up] Come on men! It'll take all of us to crew the Black Pearl!
Leech: [Leech shouts across at him] Actually, you wouldn't need everyone! About six would do!
[pause]
Leech: Oh, dear.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: The die is cast. I bid three twos.

Will Turner: This... is going to save Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: How much do you know about Davey Jones?
Will Turner: Not much.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah, it's gonna save Elizabeth.

Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen, what do keys do?
Leech: Keys... unlock... *things*?

Elizabeth Swann: Oh fine! Let's just haul out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything!

Gibbs: There's only half a dozen kegs of powder!
Will Turner: Then load the rum!
[long silence; crew stops working]
Gibbs: Aye! The rum too!

Pintel: ...I always heard it said "kray-kin"
Ragetti: What? With a long A?
Pintel: Uh-huh.
Ragetti: Na-na-na-na-no-no no "Krah-ken"'s how it's pronounced in the original Scandinavian, and "Krakken"'s closer to that.
Pintel: Well we ain't original Scandinavians, are we? Kray-kin.
Ragetti: It's a mythological creature, I can calls it what I wants!

Pintel: [watching Norrington, Will and Jack fight whilst Elizabeth is screaming and throwing rocks] How'd this go all screwy?
Ragetti: Well, each wants the chest for hisself, don't 'e? Mr. Norrington, I think, is trying to regain a bit of honor. Old Jack's looking to trade it, save his own skin. And Turner there, I think 'e's trying to settle some unresolved business twixt him and his twice-cursed pirate father.
Pintel: Sad.

[first lines]
Elizabeth Swann: Will! Why is this happening?
Will Turner: I don't know. You look beautiful.
Elizabeth Swann: I think it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth about Will who's knocked out] Leave 'im lie... unless you're planning to use him to hit somethin' with.

Gibbs: [after Jack shoots the monkey] You know that don't do no good.
Jack Sparrow: It does me.

Governor Weatherby Swann: Now, where's that dog with the keys?

Jack Sparrow: My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

Will Turner: If we can outrun her, we can take her. We should turn and fight.
Jack Sparrow: Why fight when you can negotiate?

Davey Jones: Let no joyful voice be heard! Let no man look up at the sky with hope! And let this day be cursed by we who ready to wake... the Kraken!
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No!

Will Turner: I challenge Davy Jones!

Elizabeth Swann: James Norrington, what has the world done to you?

Elizabeth Swann: It's real!
Norrington: You actually were telling the truth.
Jack Sparrow: I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.
Will Turner: With good reason.

Tia Dalma: You have a touch of destiny about you, William Turner.
Will Turner: You know me?
Tia Dalma: You want to know me.
Jack Sparrow: There'll be no knowing here! We've come for help and were not leaving without it.
[to Tia]
Jack Sparrow: I thought I knew you...

Cotton's Parrot: [squawk] Walk the plank!
Jack Sparrow: [pulls out gun and points it at the bird] What did the bird say?

[last lines]
Tia Dalma: If you go and brave da weird and haunted shores at world's end, then you will need a captain who knows dose waters.
Barbossa: [Boot steps approach] ... So, tell me, what's become of my ship?

Elizabeth Swann: I've had it! I've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked PIRATES!

Will Turner: Jack...? Jack Sparrow? I can honestly say I'm glad to see you.

Lord Cutler Beckett: Every man has a price he will willingly accept, even for what he hoped never to sell.

Jack Sparrow: No worries! Tia Dalma and I go way back... thick as thieves, nigh inseparable we are... were... have been... before...
Gibbs: I'll watch yer back.
Jack Sparrow: It's me front I'm worried about.
Gibbs: [to Will] Mind the boat.
Will Turner: [to Ragetti] Mind the boat.
Ragetti: [to Pintel] Mind the boat.
Pintel: [to Marty] Mind the boat.
Marty: [to Cotton's parrot] Mind the boat.
Cotton's Parrot: [to Cotton] Mind the boat.
[It flies off, leaving Cotton to pout and sit back down in the boat]

Davey Jones: I wonder, Sparrow, can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent man, a friend, to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Jack Sparrow: [thinks for a second] Yep. I'm good with it.

Jack Sparrow: How are we going?
Gibbs: Including those four? That gives us... four.

Elizabeth Swann: You'll have the chance to do something... something courageous. And when you do, you'll discover something. That you're a good man.

Jack Sparrow: Is this a dream?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No.
Jack Sparrow: I thought not. If it were, there'd be rum.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: [hands him a bottle of rum]

Davey Jones: You have a debt to pay. You've been captain of the Black Pearl for thirteen years. That was our agreement.
Jack Sparrow: Technically, I was only captain for two years, then I was viciously mutinied upon.
Davey Jones: Then you were a poor captain, but a captain nonetheless! Have you not introduced yourself all these years as "Captain Jack Sparrow"?

Gibbs: Come on, lads! Lift it like a lady's skirt!

Ragetti: Salvaging is saving, in a manner of speaking.
Pintel: There's the truth of it!

Will Turner: And then I intend to return here to marry you.
Elizabeth Swann: Properly?
Will Turner: Eagerly, if you'll still have me.
Elizabeth Swann: If it weren't for these bars, I'd have you already.

Tia Dalma: You know I demand payment.
Jack Sparrow: I brought payment. Look.
[brings out the monkey in a cage, shoots him]
Jack Sparrow: An undead monkey! Top that!
Tia Dalma: [releases the monkey from the cage]
Gibbs: [muttered] No...
[Speaking clearly]
Gibbs: You've no idea how long it took us to catch that.
Tia Dalma: The payment is fair...

Jack Sparrow: You look bloody awful, what are you doing here?
Norrington: You hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax.
Jack Sparrow: [immaturely] You smell funny.

Davey Jones: Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?

Gibbs: [as Jack steps onto the ship] Not quite according to plan...
Jack Sparrow: Complications arose, ensued, were overcome.

Jack Sparrow: Savvy?

Lord Cutler Beckett: Perhaps you remember a certain pirate named Jack Sparrow.
Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann: *Captain!*
Elizabeth Swann: *Captain* Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: Er, Mr. Gibbs...
Gibbs: Aye.
Jack Sparrow: I feel sullied and unusual.

Marty: [Marty picks up the cloth] It's a key!
Jack Sparrow: No! Much more better. It is a *drawing* of a key.

Jack Sparrow: [to Norrington] Still rooting for you, mate!

[repeated line]
Jack Sparrow: Oh bugger.

Jack Sparrow: [empties bottle of rum] Why is the rum always gone?
Jack Sparrow: [stands up and staggers drunkenly] Oh... that's why.

Jack Sparrow: [to cannibals] *Alas*, my children! This is the day you shall always remember as the day that you almost...
[gets splashed by a wave]
Jack Sparrow: ...Captain Jack Sparrow.

Gibbs: Heave! Heave like you're being paid for it!

Will Turner: What about Jack? I won't leave without him!
[Jack runs in followed by hundreds of angry cannibals]
Will Turner: Never mind! Let's go!

Jack Sparrow: My compass is unique.
Norrington: *Unique* here having the meaning of *broken*?
Jack Sparrow: True enough.

Gibbs: [questioning him as he is about to sign the roster] And what makes you think you're good enough to crew the Black Pearl?
Very Old Man: Truth be told, I never sailed a day in me life. I figure I should get out, see the world while I'm still young.

Captain Bellamy: [he sees that the quartermaster and the bursar are arguing over a dress] If you both fancy the dress, you'll just have to share, and wear it one after the other.
Burser: It's not like that, sir. The ship is haunted.

Mr. Mercer: [he has just killed the captain of a ship and is addressing Governor Swann] 'Evening, Gov'nor. Shame, eh?
[holds up letters]
Mr. Mercer: He was carrying these. It's a letter to the king.
[changes tone]
Mr. Mercer: It's from you.

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.

Jack Sparrow: [describing Will to the cannibal villagers] Lum se se, eunich-y. Snip snip.

Hadras: [his head has come off and he is now shouting directions to the blind body] Anido. Anido! Follow my voice, follow my voice! To the left. No! Other left. Go
[the body rams against a tree]
Hadras: ... No, that's a tree.

Marty: The captain does seem to be acting a bit strange... er.

Wyvern: [telling Will what to do] Open the chest with the key, and stab the heart. No-no-no-no. Don't stab the heart. The Dutchman needs a living heart, or there'll be no captain. And if there's no captain, there's no one to have the key.

Gibbs: Captain, I think the crew, meaning me as well, were expecting something a bit more... shiny. What with the Isle de Muerta going all pear-shaped, reclaimed by the sea and the treasure with it.
Leech: And the Royal Navy chasing us all around the Atlantic.
Marty: And the hurricane.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: It was always in my blood to die at sea, but it was not a fate I ever wanted for you.
Will Turner: It was not a fate you had to choose for yourself, either.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I could say I did what I had to when I left you to go pirating, but it would taste a lie to say it wasn't what I wanted. You owe me nothing.
Will Turner: They'll know you helped me.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: [laughs cynically] What more can they do to me?
Will Turner: This is a promise. I'll find a way to sever Jones' hold on you, and not rest until my blade pierces his heat. I will not abandon you. I promise.

Burser: Oh, Mother Carey's chickens! What happened?

Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen... what do keys do?
Leech: Keys unlock... things?
Gibbs: And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuable. So we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks!
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever it is we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So we're going after this key!
Jack Sparrow: You're not making any sense at all.

Jack Sparrow: Ah! A heading. Set sail in a... uh... a general... that way! direction.

Ragetti: It's the Bible, you get credit for trying!

Governor Weatherby Swann: You have no reason and no authority to arrest this man!
Lord Cutler Beckett: In fact I do. Here is the warrant for the arrest of one William Turner.
Governor Weatherby Swann: ...This warrant is for Elizabeth Swann!
Lord Cutler Beckett: Oh, is it? That's annoying. My mistake, arrest her too.

Will Turner: Lord Beckett, in the category of questions not answered...
Elizabeth Swann: We are under the jurisdiction of the King's Governor of Port Royal, and you *will* tell us what we are charged with!

Marty: Do we have a heading?
Jack Sparrow: Ah! A heading! Set sail in a general...
[points around vaguely]
Jack Sparrow: *That* way direction.

Lord Cutler Beckett: The East India Trading Company has need of your services. We wish for you to act as our agent in a business transaction with our mutual friend Captain Sparrow.
Will Turner: More acquaintance than friend. How do you know him?
Lord Cutler Beckett: We've had dealings in the past. And we've each left out mark on each other.
Will Turner: What mark did he leave on you?
Lord Cutler Beckett: By your efforts, Jack Sparrow was set free. I would like you to go to him and recover a certain property in his position.
Will Turner: Recover? At the point of a sword?
Lord Cutler Beckett: Bargain! You will offer what amounts to a full pardon. Jack will be free. A privateer in the employ of England.
Will Turner: Somehow I doubt Jack will consider employment the same as being free.
Lord Cutler Beckett: Freedom! Jack Sparrow is a dying breed. The world is shrinking. The blank edges of the map filled in. Jack must find his place in the new world or perish.

Governor Weatherby Swann: We must find out own avenue to secure your freedom.
Will Turner: Is that a lack of faith in Jack, or in me?
Governor Weatherby Swann: That you would risk your life to save Sparrow's does not mean that he would do the same for anyone else.

Governor Weatherby Swann: I've arranged passage to England. The captain is a friend of mine.
Elizabeth Swann: No! Will's got to find Jack!
Governor Weatherby Swann: We cannot count on William Turner.
Elizabeth Swann: He's a better man then you give him credit for.
Governor Weatherby Swann: This is no time for innocence! Beckett has offered one pardon only and that is promised to Jack Sparrow. Even if Will succeeds. Do not ask me to endure the sight of my daughter walking to the gallows. Perhaps I can ensure a fair trail for Will if he returns.
Elizabeth Swann: A fair trial ends in a hanging.
Governor Weatherby Swann: Then there is nothing left for you here.

Will Turner: Jack, Elizabeth is in danger!
Jack Sparrow: Have you considered keeping more watchful eye on her? Maybe just lock her up somewhere.

Will Turner: That's the Flying Dutchman? It doesn't look like much.
Jack Sparrow: Neither do you. Do not underestimate.

Davy Jones: Life is cruel! Why should the afterlife be any different?

Crewmember: Five lashes will remind you to stay on 'em!
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No!
Crewmember: Impeding me in my duties? You'll share the punishment!
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I'll take it all!
Davy Jones: Will you, now? And what would prompt such an act of charity?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: My son. He's my son.

Norrington: There was a time when I would have given anything for you to look like that while thinking about me.
Elizabeth Swann: I don't know what you mean.
Norrington: I think you do.
Elizabeth Swann: Oh, don't be absurd, I trust him, that's all.

Jack Sparrow: I want my jar of dirt!

Will Turner: Keep a weather eye on the horizon.

В колонках играет - Sandra-Dear God if you exist

Barbossa: You're supposed to be dead!
Jack Sparrow: Am I not?

Town Clerk: Jack Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: Captain... Captain Jack Sparrow.
Town Clerk: ...for your willful commission of crime against the crown. Those crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature...
Elizabeth: This is wrong...
Governor Swann: Commodore Norrington is bound by the law, as are we all.
Town Clerk: ...impersonating an officer of the Royal Navy; impersonating a clergy of the Church of England...
Jack Sparrow: Oh yeah, heh heh
Town Clerk: ...arson; kidnapping; perjury; piracy; pilfering; deprivation of a Federal Loyalist. For these crimes you will be hung by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on your soul.

Mr. Gibbs: Then, on the fourth day, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.
Will Turner: He roped a couple of sea turtles.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye. Sea turtles.
Will Turner: What did he use for rope?
Jack Sparrow: [from beside them] Human hair.
[pause]
Jack Sparrow: From my back.

Jack Sparrow: [after Will draws his sword] Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again.
Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

Jack Sparrow: A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around!

Jack Sparrow: If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

Barbossa: How the blazes did you get off that island?
Jack Sparrow: When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.

[to Elizabeth]
Jack Sparrow: Where's the medallion?
Elizabeth: Wretch.
[attempts to slap him]
Jack Sparrow: [grabs her wrist] Ah, where is dear William?
Elizabeth: Will.
Will Turner: Elizabeth.
Jack Sparrow: Monkey!

Jack Sparrow: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Will Turner: I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.

Barbossa: Why thank ye, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: You're welcome.
Barbossa: Oh, not you. We named the monkey Jack.

Jack Sparrow: Do us a favor... I know it's difficult for you... but please, stay here, and try not to do anything... stupid.

Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

Elizabeth: Whose side is Jack on?
Will Turner: At the moment?

Jack Sparrow: Scarlet.
[She slaps him]
Jack Sparrow: I'm not sure I deserved that.
[a blond woman approaches]
Jack Sparrow: Giselle.
Giselle: Who was she?
Jack Sparrow: What?
[She slaps him]
Jack Sparrow: I may have deserved that.

Jack Sparrow: One question about your business, boy, or there's no use going: This girl... how far are you willing to go to save her?
Will Turner: I'd die for her.
Jack Sparrow: Oh good. No worries then.

Jack Sparrow: [Wakes up and sees Elizabeth burning the rum] No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade... the rum!
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One: because it is a *vile* drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two: that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me, do you think there is even the slightest chance they wont see it?
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: mark my words, give it an hour maybe two, keep a weather eye out and there will be white sails on that horizon.

Barbossa: [talking to Will Turner] Who are you?
Jack Sparrow: No one. He's no one. Distant cousin of my Aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch.

Jack Sparrow: Parleley, parlelellyleloooo, par le nee, partner, par... snip, parsley...
Ragetti: Parley?
Jack Sparrow: That's the one. Parley. Parley.
Pintel: Parley? Damn to the depths whatever man what thought of "Parley".
Jack Sparrow: That would be the French.

Jack Sparrow: Apparently, there's a leak...

Jack Sparrow: Anamaria.
[Anamaria slaps Jack]
Will Turner: I suppose, you didn't deserve that one either?
Jack Sparrow: No, that one I deserved.
Anamaria: You stole my boat!
Jack Sparrow: Actually...
Anamaria: [Anamaria slaps Jack again]
Jack Sparrow: Borrowed... borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back.
Anamaria: But you didn't!
Jack Sparrow: You'll get another one.
Anamaria: I will.
Will Turner: A better one.
Jack Sparrow: A better one.
Will Turner: That one.
Jack Sparrow: What one?
Will Turner: [Will looks at the Interceptor]
Jack Sparrow: That one? Aye, that one. What say you to that?
The Crew: Aye!
Mr. Gibbs: No, it's frightful bad luck to have a woman aboard.
Jack Sparrow: It would be far worse not to have her.

Jack Sparrow: I know those cannons. It's the Pearl.
Man in Jail: The Black Pearl? I've heard stories. She's been preying on ships and settlements for near ten years. Never leaves any survivors.
Jack Sparrow: No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?

Elizabeth: [sighs] "... drink up me hearties, yo ho".
Jack Sparrow: What was that Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: It's Miss Swann.
Jack Sparrow: Miss Swann.
Elizabeth: Nothing, it's just a song I learned as a child when I thought it would be fun to meet a real pirate.
Jack Sparrow: Let's hear it, then.
Elizabeth: No.
Jack Sparrow: Come on. We've got the time. Let's be having it.
Elizabeth: No. I'd need a lot more to drink.
Jack Sparrow: How much more?

В колонках играет - Grey eye glances-Why
Really funny sitcom on BBC! Patsy and Eddy are wonderful ('specially Pat)
Here are some quotes.


Patsy: Darling, you are a fabulous, wonderful individual, and remember, I've known you longer than your daughter.

Patsy: What the hell is the difference between a painting done by a person who wishes to paint like a child, and a child's painting?

Patsy: One child punishes you by leaving, the other punishes us ALL by staying.

Edina: Yeah, he'd want me to be there. He'd want you to be there.
Patsy: No, I don't think he'd want me to be there.
Edina: If you want the house...
Patsy: Yeah, he'd want me to be there!

Patsy: Who dies in their vomit these day?
Patsy and Eddy: NOBODY!

Edina: I'm not like you Saff... I can't go around smelling like an old bowl of porridge, can I sweetie?!

Patsy: At least you've got a family. Even that bitch daughter of yours must be some sort of comfort to you.

Edina: Look at Mummy, darling. Do I need surgery?
Saffy: Yes... get your mouth sewn up.

Mother: What is my email address?
Eddy: oldwoman @ risk of being strangled by own daughter.com I should imagine.

Saffy: Mum! That man just pinched me!
Patsy: Don't worry, he's very old and obviously blind.

Eddy: What do you think of this one Pats?
Saffy: Go away, he's too clever for you.
Patsy: Too short. Sex with him would be a rather localised experience.

Eddy: Books give me itchy eyes darling

Saffy: Mum never took me on holiday...
Eddy: I DID!
Saffy: Prove it! Where are the photos? Where are any photos of me?
Eddy: WE DIDN'T HAVE CAMERAS IN THOSE DAYS!

Edina: No! No drugs, give the drugs to Patsy.

Patsy: My mother never gave birth... she had something... removed!

Eddy: How do I look?
Patsy: Like a zeppelin in a condom.

Mother: I'm always writing to Claire, like the time when I thought I had that disease, you know, the one that makes you forget everything.
Eddy: Alzheimer's
Mother: You know, the one you get when you're old
Eddy: Alzheimer's
Mother: What's it called... erm...
Eddy: ALZHEIMER'S!

Edina: Forget your E's and your LSD's, there's a whole alphabet of drugs available!

Edina: I'm sorry if that sounds selfish, sweetie, but it's me! Me! Me!

Eddy: Life is a mystery, we all must stand alone. I hear him call my name and it feels like home.
Saffy: That's lovely, who wrote it?
Eddy: Madonna, darling

Patsy - I'm very important, I decide the direction, the agencies, the new, the gorgeous, the wham, the bam, the floosh, the boosh, the new noir. Just decisions, decisions, decisions. I say what goes in this show.

Patsy: Darling, you are a fabulous, wonderful individual, and remember, I've known you longer than your daughter.

Edina: Family? Family?! God I hope you haven't invited that bloody, bollocky, selfish, twofaced, chicken, bastard, pigdog man have you?'
Saffy: You could just say dad.

Patsy: I was at work today
Saffy: Well there's a shock for all of us

Patsy: My name is Patsy Stone, and I'm wearing thick pants.

Eddy: What are you drinking Patsy?
Patsy: Chanel No. 5

Edina: I don't know what went wrong with Justin. We adored each other.
Patsy: He's gay.

Eddy: Patsy used to out with Keith Moon, sweetie.
Patsy: Sort of. You know I woke up underneath him in a hotel bedroom once.
Eddy: Yeah... That was going-steady in the sixties.

Patsy: She is a virgin - in a world where men would even turn to soft fruit for pleasure!

Edina: Have you eaten something?
Patsy: Not since 1973

Eddy: Remember when we could wake up and feel fabulous?
Patsy: Yeah, and without pills.

В колонках играет - Guns'n'Roses-Live and let die

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.

50. "I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." —at the President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

49. "We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." —Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001

48. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' —Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

47. "We both use Colgate toothpaste." —after a reporter asked what he had in common with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Camp David, Md., Feb. 23, 2001

46. "Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a — you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004 (Watch video)

45. "I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

44. "I'm the commander — see, I don't need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president." —as quoted in Bob Woodward's Bush at War

43. "I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

42. "The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself." —Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003

41. "I saw a poll that said the right track/wrong track in Iraq was better than here in America. It's pretty darn strong. I mean, the people see a better future." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 23, 2004

40. "Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties." —discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson, as quoted by Robertson

39. "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." —presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

38. "Haven't we already given money to rich people? Why are we going to do it again?" —to economic advisers discussing a second round of tax cuts, as quoted by former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neil, Washington, D.C., Nov. 26, 2002

37. "We need an energy bill that encourages consumption." —Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002

36. "After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week — we will have an all-volunteer army!" —Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004

35. "Do you have blacks, too?" —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

34. "This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." —as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

33. "I got to know Ken Lay when he was head of the — what they call the Governor's Business Council in Texas. He was a supporter of Ann Richards in my run in 1994. And she had named him the head of the Governor's Business Council. And I decided to leave him in place, just for the sake of continuity. And that's when I first got to know Ken and worked with Ken." —attempting to distance himself from his biggest political patron, Enron Chairman Ken Lay, whom he nicknamed "Kenny Boy," Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2002

32. "It is white." —after being asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001

31. "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah." —at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001

30. "For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." —Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001

29. "I don't know why you're talking about Sweden. They're the neutral one. They don't have an army." —during a Dec. 2002 Oval Office meeting with Rep. Tom Lantos, as reported by the New York Times

28. "You forgot Poland." —to Sen. John Kerry during the first presidential debate, after Kerry failed to mention Poland's contributions to the Iraq war coalition, Miami, Fla., Sept. 30, 2004

27. "I'm the master of low expectations." —aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

26. "I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." —aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003  

25. "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right." —Rome, Italy, July 22, 2001

24. "We need to counter the shockwave of the evildoer by having individual rate cuts accelerated and by thinking about tax rebates." —Washington, D.C. Oct. 4, 2001

 

23. "People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

22. "I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it…I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet….I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't — you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one." —President George W. Bush, after being asked to name the biggest mistake he had made, Washington, D.C., April 3, 2004

21. "The really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway." —explaining why high taxes on the rich are a failed strategy, Annandale, Va., Aug. 9, 2004

20. "My plan reduces the national debt, and fast. So fast, in fact, that economists worry that we're going to run out of debt to retire." —radio address, Feb. 24, 2001

19. "You know, when I was one time campaigning in Chicago, a reporter said, 'Would you ever have a deficit?' I said, 'I can't imagine it, but there would be one if we had a war, or a national emergency, or a recession.' Never did I dream we'd get the trifecta." —Houston, Texas, June 14, 2002 (There is no evidence Bush ever made any such statement, despite recounting the trifecta line repeatedly in 2002. A search by the Washington Post revealed that the three caveats were brought up before the 2000 campaign — by Al Gore.)

18. "See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction." —Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003

17. "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." —State of the Union Address, Jan. 28, 2003, making a claim that administration officials knew at the time to be false

 

16. "In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard." —repeating the phrases "hard work," "working hard," "hard choices," and other "hard"-based verbiage 22 times in his first debate with Sen. John Kerry

15. "The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001

14. "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." —Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

13. "But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me." —summing up his first year in office, three months after the 9/11 attacks, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2001

12. "I try to go for longer runs, but it's tough around here at the White House on the outdoor track. It's sad that I can't run longer. It's one of the saddest things about the presidency." —interview with "Runners World," Aug. 2002

11. "Can we win? I don't think you can win it." —after being asked whether the war on terror was winnable, "Today" show interview, Aug. 30, 2004

 

10. "I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace." —Washington, D.C. June 18, 2002

9. "I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job." —to a group of Amish he met with privately, July 9, 2004

8. "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed." —speaking underneath a "Mission Accomplished" banner aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, May 1, 2003

7. “We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories … And we'll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them." —Washington, D.C., May 30, 2003

6. "Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere!" —President George W. Bush, joking about his administration's failure to find WMDs in Iraq as he narrated a comic slideshow during the Radio & TV Correspondents' Association dinner

, Washington, D.C., March 24, 2004

5. "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." —Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000

4. "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 (Watch video)

3. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 (Watch video)

2. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 (Watch video)

1. "My answer is bring them on." —on Iraqi insurgents attacking U.S. forces, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003

В колонках играет - Bob Seger-Hollywood nights
1. Hello, David. I mean sir. Oh, shit, I can't believe I just did that. Oh and now I've gone and said 'shit' - twice.
2. Well, you could've said 'fuck', and then we all would have been in trouble.
1. Oh thank you sir. I had an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up my first day. Oh piss-it.

Prime Minister: I love that word 'relationship'. Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship. A relationship based on the President taking what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain. We may be a small country but we're a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.

Annie: This is Terrence. He's in charge.
Terrence: Morning sir.
David: Good morning. I had an uncle called Terrence once. Hated him. I think he was a pervert. But I very much like the look of you.

Billy Mack: Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give them to you for free.

Karen:Being the prime minister's sister really puts your life into perspective. What did my brother do today? He fought for his country. And what did I do? I made a papier mache lobster head.

1) Good evening. I am here to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.
2) You want to marry my daughter?
1) Yes.
2) [calls] There's a man here who wants to marry you!
3) [comes out] But I've never seen him before in my life!
2) So?
3) So you're just going to sell me to some man?
2) Who said sell? I'd *pay* him!
1) Excuse me - I am meaning your other daughter, Aurelia.

Where the fuck is my fucking coat?... Oh, hello Prime Minister.

DJ: Best sex you've ever had?
Billy: Britney Spears.
DJ: Really?
Billy: No, only kidding... she was rubbish.