Dennis Waterman & George Cole из популярного в Британии (и умудрившегося однажды побывать и на нашем ТВ) сериала Умник (Minder) "поют" на Top Of The Pops, так сказать, песню What Are We Gonna Get For 'Er Indoors, в которой отражается специфика сериала от сюжета до специфического лондонского выговора *текст см. ниже... в своем роде гениально *

А это Деннис исполняет главную тему сериала I Could Be So Good For You. Увы, только она и известна широким кругам, хотя он выпустил три пластинки

1976 Down Wind of Angels  
1977 Waterman  
1980 So Good For You

Ну очень бы хотелось послушать.

 * Aww listen to that Arthur, that’s your actual bow bells
Yeah, listen to that. It’s a disgrace on the public thoroughfare. They ought to be reported to the noise abasement society.
Gawd sake Arthur. It’s Christmas innit, a time of good will.
Time to make your will you mean. We’ve only just finished with 1.50 pounds for the guy Mr. It used to be a penny in my day.
Yeah, but Queen Victoria’s dead, i’nt she.
Now I suppose it’ll be GBH to the ear’oles from carol singers.
Oh come on Arthur. Cheer up will ya. Moan, moan, moan...

It’s tough and it’s lonely in top management.
Oh don’t give me no earache. You don’t even pay your rent.
I’ve got a lock up with no lock on and it’s snowing outside.
If you don’t get ‘er a present soon there’ll be nowhere to hide.
I’ve got a lovely furry coat. I could tell ‘er it’s mink.
Nah, she’ll suss it’s skunk ‘cos it don’t half pen and ink.
(pen and ink = stink in cockney rhyming slang)
It doesn’t – It does – You’d know – I would –
Here’s a turn up for the book – What? – Hold on here comes Chisholm
He’s giving me a funny look – What now?
Sing! He don’t know one carol from another
WHAT’LL I GET FOR CHRISTMAS FOR ‘ER INDOORS
I dunno it’s your problem innit?
DON’T TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS COS THIS ONE’S YOURS
Tried shopping?
That’s typical – Right – There’s no respect – You make me laugh you do –
No Terrence please – Just leave me out – After all I’ve done for you!
WHAT’RE WE GONNA GET FOR ‘ER INDOORS?
Well, whatever I get it’s gonna cost me an arm and a leg innit?
A typewriter with ribbons that was worn by Lady Di
A lovely piece of steak for when she whacks you in the eye
She wouldn’t – She would – I know ‘er – How much?
Allright, I will concede. But we’re sitting here with nothing and it’s nearly Christmas Eve!
‘Ere what about that perfume, I purchased down the Winch? (Winchester Club)
You spilt it on the counter and it blistered every inch
Oh yeah, we could bottle it and call it the elixir of life
You give it to ‘er my son, next year you’ll need a new wife
Yeah, that wouldn’t be very nice, would it?
It’s not for me to comment
WHAT’LL I GET FOR CHRISTMAS FOR ‘ER INDOORS
Arthur
DON’T GIVE ME YOUR PROBLEMS COS THIS ONE’S YOURS
I mean I’ve got me own problems in I son?
That’s typical – Right – You’ve no respect – You make me laugh you do –
No Terrence please – Just leave me out – After all I’ve done for you!
WHAT’RE WE GONNA GET FOR ‘ER INDOORS?
Not a lot – It’s not funny Terrence – Makes me laugh
I’ve got some lovely Hong Kong made, genuine Paris knickers
She could wear them with that faulty pairs of left foot kickers
Yves & Laurence, Chanel 5, I’ve been right through the cards
‘Ere what about that Cartier watch
Nah, fell off the lorry too hard.
An iron? – Leave off! – Saucepan? – Arthur! – I’ll throw ‘er a Tupperware party
That’s like getting a telly, that only shows Russel ‘Arty
Oh Terrence, this is serious, we’ve gotta do something soon
Why don’t you just not go ‘ome? – Eh? – She’ll be over the moon!
That is very wounding, Terrence. Wounding and ungrateful, that’s what you are.
Yeah, well, I’m entitled to be the money you don’t pay me. Eh?
WHAT’LL I GET FOR CHRISTMAS FOR ‘ER INDOORS
Money? – Terrence!
That’s typical – Right – You’ve no respect – You make me laugh you do –
No Terrence please – Just leave me out – After all I’ve done for you!
WHAT’RE WE GONNA GET FOR ‘ER INDOORS?
I wish it was January the second
WHAT’RE WE GONNA GET FOR ‘ER INDOORS?
E’re in’t that carol singing? Yeah I wish he’d stop.
Come on I need you. I’ve got a cotchel of army surplus Christmas puddin’s gotta be shifted.
Christmas!
*
 

Рождество… Как хорошо, когда оно воспринимается просто как красивый праздник. С детства сохранилась атмосфера очарования, созданная скорее не реальностью, а заграничными фильмами. Теперь это уже не только герои, но и реальные и ставшие близкими люди на другом конце океана и интернетовского провода, которые празднуют его не 7-го, а 25-го. И уже кажется странным, когда слышишь «С Новым Годом и Рождеством», а не наоборот.

 

И на закуску Slade со своим хитом, спетым отнюдь не рождественско-ангельскими голосами…

Отправляюсь домой слушать бонус-диск Хантера, который искала три года. И может быть смотреть Рождество каждый день с Робертом Хейсом. Ах да, сегодня же по ТВ МЫШИНАЯ ОХОТА... В понятии Первого канала - самый рождественски-новогодний фильм!