A guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school.
Unfortunately,
he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9
years
old.




One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.
They
have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already
asleep
on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk.
As you
might expect things start to heat up.






The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells
his
girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if
she
wants a new position.







Lettuce!!!

























Tomato!!!

























Lettuce!!!


























Tomato!!!


























Lettuce!!!























Tomato!!!
























She screams.

























Lettuce!!!






























Tomato!!!





Whoa!!!








PULL IT OUT!!!















PULL IT OUT NOW!!!












I can't get pregnant!


















Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my
face!*!*!*!*!




Post This




1 hour- You'll have bad sex





20 min - Your crush will kiss you




15min - Your crush will tongue you




5-10 min - Your crush will ask you out



under 2 min - You will stay with your crush forever

SEX JOKE

Little Johnny was a 7 year old and like other boys his age curious. He had been wondering quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny descibed EVERTHING to his mother. " Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis wasgetting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like a doctor would. Except he's not as smart as a doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must of been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick-a big eel; had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house! Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped over the eel's head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squeling and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a while they both quit movingand gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up , and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats- they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet. Now that you've read it, post it and have goodluck "gettin' sum" forever...Ignore it, and U will have a bad sex life!!!

Другие журналы

Другие журналы

vot uje zakonchilsya sezon futbola, ili kak tut zovut soccera, :( pryam kak v fil'me Friday Night Lights bylo, toka my doshli do poloviny, baliiin, do finala bylo tak blizko, i vse etot gad referi...,

a vse nachinalos' dlya nas gladko, s moego passa Nick zabil gol, i tak my veli do vtoroi poloviny, posle pervoi poloviny my pobejdali, vot dumaem, v New Orleans poedem, a okazalos' ne tak, posle dlinnogo pasa ih forvard tipa vyshel na nashego keepera, no Adrien vybil myach,nu kak skazat', myach letel po vozduhu i vratar' vybil myach, no pri etom on slehka tolknul togo, po smyslu vse bylo ok, no referi grit PK!!! penal'ti, koroche daje bokovye arbitry grili thats bad call, no pozno, vot 1 ;1 igrali, my hoteli dotyanut' do poslematchevyh penal'ti,. k tomu je menya pnuli v koleno, bylo herovo no igral, no na poslednih minutah, gde to v 3eh minutah pered koncom vtoroi poloviny oni zabili gol :( my proigrali,.... ujas tak fighovo bylo


a foto eto do igry, eshe dnem

Что же Вы закапываете свой талант! Вам надо писать фэнтази

Вас зовут другие миры и героические времена… А быть может, Вы и сами из другого мира, кто знает… Сейчас литература фэнтази очень популярна, хотя и не все относятся к ней серьезно… А зря, ведь в этом жанре пишется много действительно талантливых и сильных произведений… Взять того же Толкиена… Правда, есть и много посредственностей, но, надеюсь, этот путь – не для Вас. Не стоит становиться вторым Перумовым или писать энный роман о Конане. Ищите свой путь и свой мир, дерзайте!!!

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tyajkii den', utrom v 7 prosnulsya, dal'she igra protiv STM, oni 25 let tut championami byli, vrode nastroi byl, igrali horosho no proigrali s bol'shim schetom 5-3, ya zabil odin gol, eshe tam para nashih vyhodov byli zafiksirovany kak offsides, jestoko, nu che skazat'? budem rvatsya v playoff, dlya etogo nujno morgan city i abbeville vyigrat', oni toj budut bitsya, poidu spat', ponedel'nik trener ne pridet, tak shto sami treniruemsya, ne znaiu che budet, no my staralis' i eto horosho ...

vot kanikuly ept, otdyh, 2 nedeli, vysplius', a kak konchica vse eto snova praktika po futbiku, ucheba i snova, tyajko buit no prorvemsya, nujno kak nit' ostavit' zdes' znak popytamesya

Krasivii, sportibnii,veselii