Dallas: Just get the fucking coffee and let's go.
Billy Hill: This ain't exactly Brazil. I coulda pissed you a fuckin' cup by now.
Nick: [to Cashier] HEY? You're out of Chocolate Mac!
Cashier: Sorry. No Chocolate Macadamia. You will please have something else?
Nick: [filling cup] Fuckin' Hazelnut...
Cashier: [ringing up cash register] That will be one dollar and eight cents.
Nick: The sign says "All coffee: 69 cents."
Cashier: I am very sorry, but that is a 44-ounce cup and the largest coffee cup is 20 ounces. Therefore, I must charge you 99 cents, plus tax, the price of a large fountain drink.
Nick: That's bullshit! That sign says "Coffee: all sizes", not "all sizes up to 20 ounces."
Cashier: I'm humbly sorry, but you must pay 99 cents, plus tax, for that cup.
Dallas: Just pay the bitch the dollar-eight and let's get the FUCK outta here!
Nick: Fine, but it's bullshit. Just get me my fuckin' snackie cake.
Cashier: I'm sorry. I cannot do that. That is *only* available with the 20-ounce coffee. That is not a 20-ounce coffee.
Billy Hill: This bitch is gettin' on my nerves, man. Forget it!
Dallas: Just give him the fuckin' danish.
Nick: That sign says, "Free snackie cake." I paid a dollar and eight cents for my coffee. I want my free snackie cake!
Cashier: I *cannot* do that.
Dallas: [puts snackie cake on the counter] Here. Hmmm? Take it!
Nick: That's apple cinnamon! I wanted cream cheese.
Billy Hill: For fuck's sake, pay her the money and let's go.
Nick: [scoffs] Fine! Either of you got something smaller than a Ben?
Cashier: [Billy opens his case and hands Nick a $50] I'm sorry. I cannot accept any moneys over a $20 bill.
Billy Hill: [frustrated] That's it...
Cashier: I should not sell it to you anyway, as that cup is very hot and might burn you. You are very strange. I'm going to call the police.
Dallas: Fuck this. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!... BLAM!

Casey: You know what they did in Ancient Rome, when a visitor violated somebody's hospitality? They would cut off his DICK and they NAILED IT to the FUCKING GATE!

Casey: [Casey picks up the phone] Hello!
Nick: Hey Casey!
Casey: NICK! Man it's good to hear from you! God damn, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your visit.
Nick: I know you're pissed.
Casey: Pissed? Oh no, I'm not pissed. If you hadn't brought your friends along what would I have done with my day, Man? I had missed out on being beaten, raped, abused, tied up, general fucked up. And not to mention what you have done for my house.
[He looks around in the kitchen]
Casey: What would you call it? Early gothic horror.

Billy Hill: [to Casey, tied and gagged] Don't go nowhere.

[Casey's phone "moos"]
Dallas: Your cow is calling you.

Dallas: Do you like pornos?
Dr. Jarvis: Excuse me?
Dallas: You know, pornos. Fuck films. Surely, you've heard stories.
Dr. Jarvis: [uncomfortable] Yes, I've heard stories, but I've never... I've never really given them that much thought.
Dallas: I love them, especially fag flicks. Their big cocks sliding in and out of each other. Fuck, that gets me so wet, they have to steam-clean the seat after I leave.
Dallas: [leans back] In fact, mmm...
Dallas: [grabs her crotch] I'm getting wet just talking about it.