My rejection bothered her more than she�d let on before, even in her thoughts. She wouldn�t want to see me again before I left. My mouth twisted with chagrin. I didn�t like hurting Tanya, though her feelings were not deep, hardly pure, and, in any case, not something I could return. It still made me feel less than a gentleman. I put my chin on my knees and stared up at the stars again, though I was suddenly anxious to be on my way. I knew that Alice would see me coming home, that she would tell the others. This would make them happy�Carlisle and Esme especially. But I gazed at the stars for one more moment, trying to see past the face in my head. Between me and the brilliant lights in the sky, a pair of bewildered chocolate-brown eyes stared back at me, seeming to ask what this decision would mean for her. Of course, I couldn�t be sure if that was really the information her curious eyes sought. Even in my imagination, I couldn�t hear her thoughts. Bella Swan�s eyes continued to question, and an unobstructed view of the stars continued to elude me. With a heavy sigh, I gave up, and got to my feet. If I ran, I would be back to Carlisle�s car in less than an hour� In a hurry to see my family�and wanting very much to be the Edward that faced things head on�I raced across the starlit snowfield, leaving no footprints. �It�s going to be okay,� Alice breathed. Her eyes were unfocused, and Jasper had one hand lightly under her elbow, guiding her forward as we walked into the rundown cafeteria in a close group. Rosalie and Emmett led the way, Emmett looking ridiculously like a bodyguard in the middle of hostile territory. Rose looked wary, too, but much more irritated than protective. �Of course it is,� I grumbled. Their behavior was ludicrous. If I wasn�t positive that I could handle this moment, I would have stayed home. The sudden shift from our normal, even playful morning�it had snowed in the night, and Emmett and Jasper were not above taking advantage of my distraction to bombard me with slushballs; when they got bored with my lack of response, they�d turned on each other�to this overdone vigilance would have been comical if it weren�t so
irritating. �She�s not here yet, but the way she�s going to come in�she won�t be downwind if we sit in our regular spot.� �Of course we�ll sit in our regular spot. nerves. I�ll be absolutely fine.� Stop it, Alice. You�re getting on my
She blinked once as Jasper helped her into her seat, and her eyes finally focused on my face. �Hmm,� she said, sounding surprised. �Of course I am,� I muttered. I hated being the focus of their concern. I felt a sudden sympathy for Jasper, remembering all the times we�d hovered protectively over him. He met my glance briefly, and grinned. Annoying, isn�t it? I grimaced at him. Was it just last week that this long, drab room had seemed so killingly dull to me? That it had seemed almost like sleep, like a coma, to be here? Today my nerves were stretched tight�piano wires, tensed to sing at the lightest pressure. My senses were hyper-alert; I scanned every sound, every sight, every movement of the air that touched my skin, every thought. Especially the thoughts. There was only one sense that I kept locked down, refused to use. Smell, of course. I didn�t breathe. I was expecting to hear more about the Cullens in the thoughts that I sifted through. All day I�d been waiting, searching for whichever new acquaintance Bella Swan might have confided in, trying to see the direction the new gossip would take. But there was nothing. No one noticed the five vampires in the cafeteria, just the same as before the new girl had come. Several of the humans here were still thinking of that girl, still thinking the same thoughts from last week. Instead of finding this unutterably boring, I was now fascinated. Had she said nothing to anyone about me? There was no way that she had not noticed my black, murderous glare. I had seen her react to it. Surely, I�d scared her silly. I had been convinced that she would have mentioned it to someone, maybe even exaggerated the story a bit to make it better. Given me a few menacing lines. And then, she�d also heard me trying to get out of our shared biology class. She must have wondered, after seeing my expression, whether she were the cause. A normal girl would have asked around, compared her experience to others, looked for common ground that would explain my behavior so she didn�t feel singled out. Humans were constantly desperate to feel normal, to fit in. To blend in with everyone else around them, like a featureless flock of sheep. The need was particularly strong during the insecure adolescent years. This girl would be no exception to that rule. But no one at all took any notice of us sitting here, at our normal table. Bella must be exceptionally shy, if she�d confided in no one. Perhaps she had spoken to �I think you�re right.�
