The thing is that I know who I am..
Im a freaking looser...
and this actually makes me laugh it took so long for me to realise that
Do you know who loosers are?I'll tell you small, incignificant people who live up in the clouds and thing that they have the RIGHT to everything.The thing is my greatest fear was always to be like my dad.The horror shock story of live is that im actually just like him.A copy.Replica.Exact replica made with the precision which could only be made by God.
I dont have morals.Its all bullshit of course I do say and do some staff but really its all just for the show for an image that I have created but the thing is ...there is no one behind that image.People percive me the way I wanted them but not everybody and then this is when it hit me.I actuallly had to open up.To tell the truth all the time even when I was chicken and apologise for my mistakes.I actually did.I actually for some thigns I cant forgive myself.Im not a strong person. All I ever think about is myself.Most of the time anyway.This is why I would kill for my friends because they only the REAL me...and are patient enough.
When you realise this you go to church and you only have only question twirling around in your head or even,two.Why the hell did she not do it,then? and why the f*ck are yout he kind of person that you are?
I dont know.Thats the problem.I talk a lot of sh*t but there are things which I will never tell anyone about me.Everytime I looked back on myn life I thought it was okay, it would be okay because I have figured it out.The thing is its not okay because it enver had to be like this.
The only thing that's left....if he takes that away from me I will actually deserve it.Im an ass.

They say you are half way to improving, if you have already recognised the problem.