Special for you :*) I have forgotten what happiness feels like.
Happiness!
I have asked many people throughout my life time,
What exactly happiness meant to them.
Many said it was being in love or being loved,
Waking up wrapped in their lovers arms, or
getting a first glimpse of their new born.
“food makes me happy” said one but most said
“I don’t know”
Some said it was achieving success would make them happy
but would anyone ever be satisfied with what they own?
See, happiness is what I’d say children feels.
Their pure minds appreciate the art of how their
ketchup is sprawled across their plate.
How their tiny minds fathom about how beautiful and
vibrant the colors are of butterfly’s wings.
Their unbroken hearts religiously believes in everything.
Like how they’d fly like superman when they grow up, or
how one would be a princess and live in a castle
I think once we realize that those were lies
Happiness starts to leave our minds and souls.
The calmness in our heart we use to have as kids
starts to disappear.
I don’t remember the last time I sat in a quiet room
without my mind listing the tasks i had yet to complete
or how I’d be a failure with my best efforts.
The voices in my head becomes so loud
that it physically makes me numb.
And in all of the amid of confusion and sadness
I try to find beauty in everything
I try to find beauty in people’s confidence
I try to find beauty in people who are so passionate
about their characters.
That they resurrect them from fiction in every sentence
I try find the beauty in stars and how fascinating
the moon looks in the morning skies.
I try to find something, maybe not happiness.
But something to keep me alive in this world.