лазил тут по всемирной паутине и напаролся на энциклопедическое изложение русского мата для пиндосов...
Очень душев но пишут... Вот например:
ni khuya sebe (ни хуя́ себе́) — exclamation of surprise (literally "no dick for oneself") meaning "what a surprise," "wow!"

Mat (Russian: мат, or ма́терный язы́к) is Russian sexual slang, based on the use of specific generally unprintable obscene words. Although it is commonly believed that the name derives from mat′ (Russian мать, "mother," where the prime represents the soft sign, which signals palatalization of the preceding t) the term comes from a word meaning "loud yell," which is now used in only a few expressions such as благим матом. It is at once almost universally understood and commonly employed, but also held in some cultural disregard, to the point of facing occasional social and legal proscriptions. Depending on context, as in languages besides Russian, speaking it may have the effect of conveying disrespect, congeniality or chic, cynicism, intensification, or self-assertion. The mat belongs to the ancient layers of the Russian language (the first written mat words date to Middle Ages). It was first introduced into literature in the 18th century by the poet Ivan Barkov, whose poetry, combining lofty lyrics with brutally obscene words, may be regarded as a forerunner of Russian literary parody. Non-native speakers of Russian are generally advised to be conservative about employing the terms or to shun them if they tend not to use their equivalents in their first language.
Key words
The key elements of mat are:

khuy (Russian хуй) — penis, or for equivalent colloquial effect, cock
from Latin huic (lit. "for that", used on prescriptions for genital diseases) via rederivation, similar to Russian zont from Dutch zondeck. Old Russian "ud/uda" (from PIE root *ud- meaning "up, out") became taboo in mid-18th century, requiring the euphemisms khui and kher[1] [2]
from PIE *ks-u-, related to khvoya (Russian хвоя, meaning pine needles), attributed to Pederson, 1908.[3]
from PIE *hau-, related to khvost (Russian хвост, meaning tail), attributed to Merlingen, 1955 [4]
from Mongolian hui, meaning sheath, scabbard. This was the etymology endorsed by the Soviet government and attributed to Maxim Gorky, who claimed it was a loan word, imposed during Mongol yoke.
from Ukrainian khovati ховати, meaning hide, stash. Commonly regarded as a joke etymology.
other controversial etymologic hypotheses appear every now and again [5]
pizda (Russian пизда) — cunt
from PIE *pizda ("vulva"), cf Lithuanian "pizda" and Albanian "pidh"; from Latin pesd, perd to let air through, to crepitate.
yebat′ (Russian ебать) — to fuck
from PIE *eibati ("to fuck"), cf Old High German "eiba" and Sanskrit "yabhati"; From ancient Russian, "poYat'" means just to touch someone.
blyad′ (Russian блядь) — whore is simply a re-transcription of yet normative "Bludnica" (the wandering woman)
from PIE root cognate with English "blind"; the word was not banned from literary use at the time of Avvakum, who used it to describe various heresies and various expressions based on these terms. Also, the 15th century merchant-traveler Afanasii Nikitin used it simply as "concubine," without any obscene connotations.
These words can be used in some contexts and generate a rather large range of new words based on them through the use of prefixes and suffixes. The first volume of the "Large Mat Dictionary" (большой словарь мата) treats only expressions with the word khuy, numbering over 500 entries.

A detailed article by Victor Erofeyev (translated by Andrew Bromfeld) analyzing the history, overtones, and sociology of mat appeared in the 15 September 2003 issue of The New Yorker.


Further vocabulary
Additionally, the following words are considered almost as offensive, and can also be regarded as mat:

yelda (елда) — "big penis";
gandon (gondon) (гандо́н, гондо́н), derived from "condom", but it is a tabooed word and may be used figuratively;
gavno (govno) (Russian говно) — shit. Cognate to Sanskrit guváti ("(he) defecates") and Avestan gūʮa- ("shit"), from PIE. Note: this is not used as an exclamation the way that "Shit!" is used in English. "Blya!" (derived from "blyad'") is used instead, or some other expressions.
kher (хер) "penis"; somewhat less offensive than "khuy"; the actual meanings of kher is the old Russian name of the letter "X" Kha, which became strongly associated with the actual "khuy" (cf. the term "F-word" in English). Interestingly enough, the old word "pokherit'" which used to mean "to cross out," "to delete", now tends to be contaminated with the relatively new meaning of "kher" (i.e., obscene "penis"), thus achieving an obscene meaning, also.
khren (хрен) is the mildest euphemism for "khuy", literally "horse-radish"; khren, like its mat counterart, also means a jerk, a nasty/unpleasant man
koncha (конча) — "sperm"; Russian equivalent for English "cum" (from Russian "кончать" - to cum).
malaf'ya (малафья) — "sperm" (from Greek "malakiya")
manda — "vagina";
mudak (муда́к) — "smart ass", "git". Sometimes (but very rarely) is used in its original meaning: "testicle." Another often-used derivative is mudilo (муди́ло) which only bears an abstract offensive meaning and is somewhat equal to "motherfucker." Sometimes, mudak and mudilo are used as equivalents of "moron," e.g. Вася - полный мудило, ему жена изменяет, а он радуется. - Vasya is a complete moron: his wife cheats on him, but he's still glad.
pidoras (пидора́с), a bastardization of pederast, meaning a male homosexual in Russian. The condensed form pidor (пи́дор) is also used. More often than not (though not necessarily), refers to a passive pederast. Often used as a general term like "asshole" or "motherfucker";
sraka (срака) — "anus," "butt," "asshole";
srat' (срать) — "to shit";
suka (сука) — bitch (the same original meaning: female dog)
zalupa (залупа) means "penis head" (from old Russian "lupit'" - here, "to peel off" (like "lupit' jajtso" - "to peel off egg shell"); therefore, this is "what you can see when the foreskin is pulled back or removed")
zhopa (жопа) - ass, arse, butt

Derivatives

Khuy
khernya (херня́) or khuynya (хуйня́) - "rubbish, nonsense"; нести хуйню (или херню) - to speak rubbish. Khuynya is "stronger" and more offensive than khernya, which is also true for other derivatives of khuy and kher.
khui'lo (хуи́ло), alt. khuylo'(хуйло́) – 1) male person to whom the speaker has some negative feelings; 2) some male person (i.e., stranger). Its predecessor, "khuy," is often used in the same meaning.
Что за хуйло там шляется? - Who's this moron hanging around there?
Себя от холода страхуя/В трактир вошли четыре хуя... - To guard (lit. strakhuya) themselves from the cold/Four guys (lit. khuya) entered the pub...
khuyovyi (хуёвый) or kherovyi (херо́вый) - bad, shitty.
khuyovina(хуёвина), pizdyulina(пиздю́лина), poyeben’(поебе́нь) - a thing the name of which one either doesn't know or doesn't think worth specifying.
Note: pizdyulina usually refers to smaller objects. Poyeben’ is an uncountable noun, and has a scornful connotation.
okhuyennyi (охуе́нный) or okhuyitelnyi (охуи́тельный), or opizdenitel'nyi (опиздени́тельный) - enormous. Possibly derived from okhuyet’/opizdenet’ (to have gone mad), these words also convey a feeling of surprise or awe and are sometimes used to mean "great," "awesome," "magnificent."”
okhuyet’ (охуе́ть) or euph. ofiget ' (офиге́ть) - to go out of one's mind (go crazy), with the derived meanings like 1. to be very surprised, 2. to be cheeky. 3. to go insane.
Example 1: Я слушал его и тихо охуевал - I was listening to him, hiding my great anxiety (lit. “quietly ohuyeval”).
Example 2: Босс совсем охуел: зажал ползарплаты за два опоздания - My boss has gone totally insolent: he took half of my salary for being late only twice.
pokhui, pokhuiu (по́хуй, похую) — adverb: "no matter," "unaffected," "unconcerned." Ему всё похуй — "He cares about nothing" or "He is unshakable." A derivative of this is pokhuism (похуи́зм) — "nonchalance" (as an -ism, a permanent attitude).

Pizda
pizdatyi (пизда́тый) - good.
pizdets (пизде́ц) or euph. kapets (капе́ц), cf. Germ. kaputt, is usually used to describe a particularly sad state of affairs, when there is no way to improve things or when someone is in (for) big trouble. There is also derivative term of same root, "nakri'tsya pisdo'i" (накры́ться пиздо́й) which means some object to be in state of pizdets ("fucked up").
Моей машине пиздец. = Моя машина пиздой накрылась . — "My car is FUBAR."
На улице пиздец как холодно. — "It is murderously cold outside."
Там пиздец что творилось! — Some dramatic things went on there.
pizdit’ (пи́здить) - "to beat up" or "to steal", means a continuous action.
pizdet’ (пизде́ть)- "to tell a lie" or "to chat"; note that conjugated forms are very similar to pizdit' but with a different articulation (пизди́ть))
pizdyuli (пиздюли́) (plural, countable) — abstractly, "beatings,"
pizdovat’ (пиздова́ть) — "to go," usually away. Very commonly used in the imperative form пизду́й (pizdui, "move out!"). Sometimes is used as "to walk" (as the means of transportation).
Пиздуй нахуй! — lit. "Take a sit on my cock," meaning "Go to hell!", "Screw you!".
Водилы решили бастовать, пришлось пешком нам пиздовать! - "The drivers decided to go on strike, so we had to take a hike!"
raspizd'ái (распиздя́й) or euph. razgil'd'ái (разгильдя́й) — "a reckless person"
raspizd'áistvo (распиздя́йство) - "reckless way of life."

Yebat'
dolboyob' (долбоё́б) — "dumbass", "idiot"
nayebat' (наеба́ть) — "to cheat"
nayobka (наё́бка) / nayob (наё́б) — "act of cheating"; "tool for cheating"
poyebat’ (поеба́ть) — verb: "to fuck for a while"; adverb or interjection: same as pokhui
proyebat' (проеба́ть)- "to lose something due to lack of consideration"; "to miss/skip (school,work)"; "to lose in a game or contest"
Где моё кольцо? Кажись проебал... — "Where is my ring? Seems that I've lost it...."
Вчера у сестры свадьба была: пришлось уроки проёбывать. — "My sister had her wedding yesterday, I had to skip my lessons because of it."
Ёб твою мать! Наша сборная опять проебала! — "Shit! Our national team has lost once again!"
syebat’sia (съеба́ться)- "to leave a dangerous place quickly," "to escape," "to clear out," "to scram."
viyebat' (выебать) - (referring to a woman) "to successfully fuck" means a completed action of fucking someone, derivative meaning - to punish, harass or haze someone regardless of gender (ranging from valid verbal warning on someone's misconduct to brutal hazing)
yebalo (еба́ло) - "face", rarely "mouth"
yobnut’ (ёбнуть) or yebanut’ (ебану́ть) - "to hit", with derivative meanings "to take a drink (e.g., of vodka)". Always means a single-time action - a single hit or a single drink from the cup.
NB: The verbs yobnut' and yebanut' are different: "stakan youbnulsya" means "the glass (a vessel) has fallen down" but "stakan yebanulsya" means "the glass has been broken".
yobnut'sya (ёбнуться) - (referring to a human) "to fall (over)", "slip up", or "stumble"; "to get hit (against smth)"; "to go mad". For the verbs "to fall" or "to slip up" you can also use nayebnut'sya (наебну́ться).
zaebat' (заеба́ть) — to harass someone to critical point (lit. meaning is "fuck to the death").
zayebis' (заеби́сь) — adverb, meaning state of satisfaction with something (rough equivalent of "fine", "OK", etc.).
Как дела? Спасибо, всё заебись. – "How are you? Thanks, everything is fine".
otyebis' (отъеби́сь) — "fuck off", inperative noun intended somebody to go out, stop conversation.

Common phrases
yob tvoyu mat' (ёб твою́ мать) — literally "fucked your mother", of a wide usage spectrum, from "oh no" or "shit!" to "you fucking bastard!" Originates in the expression "dog fucked your mother".
ni khuya sebe (ни хуя́ себе́) — exclamation of surprise (literally "no dick for oneself") meaning "what a surprise," "wow!"
ebat' menya v rot! (еба́ть меня в рот!) — basically "I'll be fucked in the mouth!", an expression meant to convey the truthfulness of the speaker's previous statement. "I'll be fucked in the mouth if this isn't true."
ebat'-kopat' (еба́ть-копа́ть) — Untranslatable expression (lit. "fuck and dig"), an exclamation roughly equivalent to "Oh Fuck!", or "Fuck it!". Can mean surprise or/and confusion.
Possible variations include: ebat'-kolotit' ("еба́ть-колоти́ть") or etit'-kolotit' ("ети́ть-колоти́ть") - lit. "fuck and hit"), .
khuy tebe v rot! (хуй тебе́ в рот!) — literally "a dick to your mouth" means "you'll get nothing (from me)" (this sounds extremely offensive). Word "tebe" (to you) may be substituted with "emu" (ему́, "to him"), "ei" (ей, "to her"), "im" (им, "to them") or other object case pronouns – when discussing some third person.
Example:
– Ива́н хо́чет, что́бы мы ему́ маши́ну почини́ть помогли́. ("Ivan wants us to help him to repair his car.")
– Хуй ему в рот, а не помо́чь! Он ведь да́же не проста́вился, когда́ её купи́л! ("A dick to his face, not the help! He didn't even hold a party when he bought it!")
Possible variations include: khuy tebe v zhopu! (хуй тебе́ в жопу!) - literally "a dick to your asshole/get butt-fucked"; khuy tebe po vsey rozhe! (хуй тебе по всей роже!) — literally "a dick all over your face."
zatkni yebalo! (заткни́ еба́ло!) — means "shut up!", "shut your face!"
khuy(kher) s nim(ney,nimi)! (хуй(хер) с ним(ней,ними)!) — literally "prick with him (or her, them)!" means "don't be so concerned about him (her, it, them)!" or "I no longer care about him (her, it, them)."
(da) poshol(poshla, idite) na khuy! ((да) пошёл(пошла́, иди́те) на хуй!) — literally "go on a dick" meaning "fuck off" or "forget it!" (very offensive). If a name or a pronoun is added, this expression is sometimes very close in meaning to khuy(kher) s nim(ney,nimi)!
idi na huy (иди на́ хуй) — literally "go to dick," is used as an equivalent of "fuck off" or "go fuck yourself."
s khuya li? (с хуя́ ли?) — an equivalent of "why?"
na khuya? (на хуя́?) — an equivalent of "what for?"

Rhymed retort
Most interrogative words and utterances have standard rhymed retorts, basically meaningless, simply as an expression of derision in a crudely humorous way. Examples of dialogs:

- Ivan! (calling Ivan) - A? ("Eh?") - Khuy na! (Take penis!)

- Cho? (Wha'?) - Khuy cherez plecho! (Penis over the shoulder!)

- Kak? (How?) - Khuyem ob kosyak! (Hit the door frame with the penis!)

- Nu? (So what?) - Khuy gnu! (I am bending the penis!)


Famous usage
Kirkorov's press conference

Russian pop-star Philip Kirkorov had the following exchange with Ms Aroyan, a correspondent, at his press conference that was held in Rostov on Don on May 20, 2004:
KIRKOROV: I am irritated by your pink blouse, your tits and your microphone… To me… to me it is pokhuyu (i. e., of no matter) what you will write about me. I do not like unprofessionals. Unprofessionals have no place here.
AROYAN: You should learn to behave yourself, “zvezda” ("star").
KIRKOROV: Yes, yes... pizda! (rhymes with zvezda).
Russian text of this exchange:
— (1) Ф. Киркоров: Меня раздражают Ваша розовая кофточка, Ваши сиськи и Ваш микрофон.
— (2) Ф. Киркоров: А? Да мне… да мне по хую, как Вы напишете… Так же, как и Вы… Я не люблю непрофессионалов! Непрофессионалам тут делать нечего!
— (3) И. Ароян (презрительно): А вы научитесь себя вести. "Звезда".
Ф. Киркоров (рифмуя): Да… Пизда!

Источник



Ща читаю и рыдаю....
Example 2: Босс совсем охуел: зажал ползарплаты за два опоздания - My boss has gone totally insolent: he took half of my salary for being late only twice.