What is there in this ultimate moment when the truth and the happiness are being delayed to a more distant instant and transferred to a foreign reality?all your intentions to grasp the harmony and immerse into its pure realm end up with discovering your imperfection.you have to admit you are a permanently unfulfilled person who seeks being devoured by a warm womb of safetyness and serenity.you try looking for it in the corporeal reality of others,pretending that sexual liaisons are able to establish this desirable connection with the Infinite.but in vain.there is nothing but air you hold in your hand.the horizon is postponed as soon as you feel you've got close to it.if only there was a clue in this fallen world of appearences by following which you would certainly come to the gates of absolute harmony.but no ways are certain here,no paths are genuine.seek for it if you want to find it.fall and rise again. some try using drugs in order to alter their cor-relation to the model of reality they think they live in.this hunger [craving for a "true, higher, absolute reality"] talks them into changing their mode of thinking and perceiving things by modifying the chemical mixture of their blood.but what happens is not a way out or a breakthru to the ultimate existence.they simply find themselves stuck in another model of interpreting the world.but it is again a model which means that its a ready-made scheme,sceleton for the statements about the surrounding reality.the moment they are looking for - the supreme moment of insight, when the consiousness embodies with the thing-in-itself and the "subject-object" dichotomy collapses in the rays of truth - doesn't really come.they are one step away from the absolution.the length of the step is equal to the solidity of our Ego, Self which we consider being the reference point of all the reality.but if we realize that the universe has no center at all and looks more like a rhizome, we understand that our ego-centered realities we exist in are based on a fake.what am i to put here in the end of my brief text about metaphysical hunger which constantly haunts me?should i establish that there's no me and no you?i only can conclude that i'm standing again on the edge of an abyss in which there's an unlimited, infinite aggregate of things to understand and then to deny and to seek for the new truths again and again as it is what human being looks like for me:an infinite pursuit of the truth which is always more than you can take.