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Anger and anger rarely allow us to get what we want. But this does not stop us from manifesting them, often in cases where they are out of place. Although getting rid of them is necessary - and in the mental and physiological plans they do not do us good.
The main reasons for anger and anger:
- Injustice . We feel that we are treated unfairly. We feel that we give more than we receive.
- The loss . We feel that we have lost something with which we associate ourselves: feelings, pride, money, work.
- Wines . We blame others or external factors for causing injustice or loss. Charges are subjective, because they are born in our thinking. Another's point of view is not taken into account.
- Pain . We experience pain, anxiety and stress. They cause a physical reaction of the body, which tries to restore balance and come into balance.
- Focusing . We concentrate on something negative, the offensive we do not want.
Most often, anger is mutual and the two sides of the conflict consider themselves right and unjustly offended. In this case, they are usually right and wrong at the same time.
Basics
Have you noticed how quickly we fall into a negative state? This is usually a fraction of a second. Such a reaction becomes automatic and the body needs extremely little time to fall under the influence of external and internal factors causing it. Therefore, every person who wants to make life harmonious needs each other to work on his mental stability .
If there are negative feelings, you can choose two models of behavior:
- Follow the usual pattern worked out in the process of life.
- Interrupt the chain of reactions and change the behavior and manner of thinking.
The main ways to interrupt the behavioral pattern are three:
- Visual : change your thoughts
- Verbal : change your speech
- Kinetic : change your physical state
In addition, the so-called coping strategies have become popular , allowing to prevent the onset of anger already at the time of stress.
Now consider the most effective ways to fight your inner demon.
Overcoming anger
Physical changes
The body reacts to the internal state and it works in both directions. When we are upset or annoyed, we usually look down. Change it: look up and try to feel the internal changes.
You can apply the following methods:
- Stand up and stretch
- Change the facial expression
- Look out the window or take a walk
- Do something absurd: imagine yourself a character in a fairy tale or a fictional animal.
Find out what you want
Find a quiet place and ask yourself the question: "What do I want now?". As already mentioned, during anger, we most often focus on what we do not want, so this question will shift the perspective in the right direction. Be clear and definite.
Determine what will result in anger
A sensible person, during intense stress, usually balances between anger and anger.Experiencing anger, he is incapable of thinking and thinking critically , but this state lasts a few seconds and turns into anger and so on in a circle. At the moment of anger you can think, so catch this moment and find out what the nervous breakdown can lead to.
Surely you had many similar situations in life: how many of them did anger work and led to positive results? If there were at least 5%, then you are still very lucky. Anger only hinders the person who is experiencing it, remember this.
Look for a solution to the problem
Do not get hung up on your emotions. There is a problem and it needs to be solved at all costs. Or there is no problem at all. For example, you can lose your temper during a debate about politics. Think: why this is necessary, because nothing can not be changed. It's just a dispute and a discussion.
If the problem really exists, then you need to realize that you need to solve it, and not project your negative on others. Each person needs to find an approach; anger does not work here.The more you think about how to influence a person, the smarter you will become. Come at least for selfish reasons.
Change of thinking
Anger, like all other emotions, is subjective. Therefore, changing your thoughts and speech, you can change your own state.
Focus on the good, and also look at the situation, based on the overall picture. You must understand that the state of affairs is not as terrible as it might seem. In the end, just start thinking, not feel at this moment. Logic and critical thinking will help to think about the essence of the problem, not its subjective perception.
If you are experiencing great difficulties with overcoming anger, take a course on psychic self-regulation, where you will learn all about this phenomenon and practical ways of managing it.
We wish you good luck!
