Customer: Yeah. I'd like to get my hair trimmed a little. Nothingfancy. Just a basic trim.

Beautician: Well, can we interest you in today's special?

Customer: Um . . . Nah, nah . . .

Beautician: We'll shampoo, cut, (and) style your hair for one unbelievable low price of $9.99 (nine ninety-nine). Plus, we'll give you a clean shave and a back massage to help you relax.

Customer: Well, I don't know. I don't have much time, and . . .

Beautician: Best service in town!

Customer: Well, okay, I'll have the complete service today, but as I said before, I just want to get my hair trimmed. A little off the top and sides. That's all. I mean, that's all.

Beautician: No problem. Relax. You're in good hands. Okay, here we go. Now, how does this thing work?

Customer: Huh? Wait. You know what you're doing, right?

Beautician: Relax, sir, relax. I've been doing this for ten [cough] [Ten what?] Sit back and relax. So, what do you do for a living?

Customer: I'm a lawyer, specializing in workplace accidents, and I'm in town for a very important job interview, and . . .

Beautician: Oops.

Customer: What do you mean oops. Hey, can I see a mirror?

Beautician: Nothing to worry about, sir. Relax. I'm just making someadjustments to the hair trimmer. There we are. Okay . . .

Customer: Ouch. That hurt. That really hurt! What are you doing anyway?

Beautician: Nothing to worry about, sir. Relax.

Customer: That's what you just said a minute ago, and look at all of my hair on the floor. And how much are you really cutting off? And where's a mirror?

Beautician: Oh. And time for the shampoo. Just lean back, and we'll wash your hair away.

Customer: You mean what's left of it?

Beautician: Relax. [Your favorite word . . .] Relax.

Customer: Hey, hey, and you got shampoo in my eyes. I can't see. Where's the towel?

Beautician: Relax, sir, relax. I'm almost finished.

Customer: Yeah, just wait till I get finished with you!

Beautician: Okay, okay, now let's dry your hair, put a little styling jell in it, and now style it with a blow dryer, and brush. voila!

Customer: Hey, what happened to my hair? You butchered it! And what's left of my hair turned purple. What kind of prank are you trying to pull here anyway? Are you even a licensed beautician?

Beautician: Well, sir. We offer a money-back guarantee on all our work, so if you're not completely satisfied . . .

Customer: Satisfied? I'm anything but satisfied. I want to talk to the manager . . . now!

Beautician: I'm sorry, but he's on vacation, and he left me in charge, so if you . . .

Customer: How in the world am I supposed to go to my job interview looking like this? Forget it, forget it. Is there anyplace in this town that can give a decenthaircut and fix this damage?

Beautician: Well, my brother works next door, and he offers a complete package for . . . .

Customer: I know, nine, ninety-nine. I've had it. Forget I even asked.