##1
George Bush meets with the Queen of England.
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient
government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really
intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to
answer an intelligence riddle."
The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair
in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and
father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who
is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be
me."
"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.
Bush goes back home to ask Cheney, his vice president, the same
question.
"Cheney. Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a
child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says Cheney. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Cheney goes to his advisors and asks everyone, but none can give him
an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin
Powell's shoes in the next stall.
Cheney shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and
father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is
it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Cheney smiles, and says, "Thanks!" Then, goes back to speak with
Bush.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's
Colin Powell."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Cheney, and angrily yells into his
face,
"No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
##2
President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy".
So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stood up and offered:
"If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand.
In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying You and Mrs. Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."