24.05.09 (Night with the Light)
Alesana is playing.
Tick-tock doomsday mechanism shows 1.56am. The beginning of new day. Rah…
I’m sitting here under the hot lights of my red lamp and trying to keep my depression deep inside by J.F. and music. Foster is already written for today and it seems that my forty winks is close too.
Oh, I’ve ate bread-crumbs today’s evening… Shit, it’s not a big deal. Heh…
Oh, there are no mobile connections for my cell phone provider in my region by two days already! Imagine this! The whole cell web for my place is dead the day before yesterday! Do u sucked it up? I’m two days haven’t got an ability to call someone (to Van, for example), I can’t check my email, I can’t watch my social page! Argh… That’s like fucking disablement from sociality! Yeah?.. Rah… Close to my old school life… There was no phone, no www – nothing! But there were friends in my region and we played soccer, or war games with dolls… Heh… Now there no friends, no soccer players anymore, and no communication! And I wanna to know, when this shit is gonna be repaired!!!
Evan without social page is sucks! Heh… Maybe I am really become pathos boy? I want www to look at comments for my albums, to think highly of some new friends, to look at my wall… Oh… Yeah… Those activities make me feel myself better. Why? I guess only because I feel myself cool and needed for the people. He he… Stupid proudly pathos emo boy. Man, you are addicted to your small glory! You supposed to do something before whichever disaster comes for your soul! I should relax, before Shawn and Van haven’t beaten me cause of my ego. Ow… I haven’t got pathos ego! Hah… Rah… Yeah… I’m old spot-faced Evan nothing special…
Today I’ve brought some old books to my room. Apparently, they will stay at mine window-sill some time, until I finish reading Isaac Asimov’s collection. Gorgeous old men. Definitely my best writer! That’s why I had stared to reread this heavy book again! Yeah… Shut up… Rah…
I Am Alpha And Omega is playing.
Gonna go for a sleep. Today I must have a meet with Lina, but fuck!!! It wasn’t because I’m stupid idiot! Rah…
Also today I downloaded nearby fifty photos of Daggy in my cell phone. Argh… I made a theme for her in MINE cell phone! Argh… I place her photo on my workplace and backstage of it! Argh… I’m strongly and for a long time sick of her … That’s doesn’t mean that I’m love her, or something – we even haven’t got a meet at whole year… I like her – that’s true. We are good icq friends. Oh, I should say very well friends. *Smile*. She is very attractive and nice-looking. She is the representative one of girl of my dreams. And yeah, like my mom and dad saying – she looks similarly to NeeDLe. Argh… Nope. Not so much! Shit! Shut up! Rah… Daggy’s old style was a style of emo girl with specific haircut and clothing. In the same way acted NeeDLe too. That’s not my fault if I like emo girls!!! And that’s not my fault that I like attractive girls! Yeah… Rah… Whatever… I’m proud that Daggy honors me like a friend and wants to meet someday. That’s all. I hope I will not fall in love to her at our first meet. Heh… It will be great and could heal me from my first love, but I know myself – It seems I can’t fall in love anymore! Rah… But Daggy is so cute!!! I remember how jealous was NeeDLe to Dag! Oh, it was cool! Heh… Whatever… I hope that Dag won’t read this. I’m sure that she doesn’t read my diary at all. So, this place is clear, sir. Yeah…
From First to Last is playing.
I have a headache.
2.47am is on the clock. Wow, I’m typing diary by one hour! Shit, I’m crazy teenager.
I’m tired… Tired so much and lazy to go for a bed by few steps.
I should say that diary heals depression. Catch this not by the first time, of course… Someday heals, someday hurts…
Goodnight diary.
I pray my dreams come true.
I pray, I pray, I pray
She said that I’m the one who makes her cry… Someday it was so romantically… Shit! HATE! FUCK! STOP READING LAST YEAR DIARY!!! AAAAAA!!! FUCK!!!...
I will kill myself someday! Bitch! Cause of you! Bitch! Love you so much! Bitch! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! BITCH!..
When we were friends…
When we were lovers…
When we become haters…
Only because your weak character…
Everything dies…
FUCK!
I NEED to get out of here…
I pray, I pray, I pray
I hope someday I will be happy more then TDWP songs length…
I pray my dreams come true.
I pray, I pray, I pray
