Some serious ones:

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again.

It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think they'll hate you.

Too often we...enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Believe none of what you hear, half of what you read, and all of what you see.

Without publicity a terrible thing happens: nothing.

Some about sex:

Her kisses left something to be desired - the rest of her.

When pleasure remains, does it remain a pleasure?

Sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

The girl who remembers her first kiss now has a daughter who can't even remember her first husband.

Only a man can be a woman the way a man wants a woman to be.

My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's reading.

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.

 And some funny ones:

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

One-seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.

If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on vacation.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

A fool must now and then be right by chance.

He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes.