Jokes-15

At trial, the peasant
- The defendant, you are what hit her neighbor
on the landing.
- He secretly home bred chickens,
 it's something in the city, yes to the twelfth floor of something else.
In three months I have been treated psychiatrist,
 Considering that kukarekone - is the fruit of my sick
imagination.

Morning, the wife of her husband:
- My dear, why did you call me at night
Nadia?
- Honey, do not believe it! Dreamed that I was - Lenin!

 Bears - daddy, son and daughter come home from the hunt

 

Sit at the table and the little bear asks:
- Who ate from my plate!?
Daughter:
- Who ate from my plate!?
Dad gets up and starts hitting his stomach and crying:
- And from my plate who ate!?
Mama - bear with indignation:
- Yes you idiots, I have not put!

 A monk in the desert, met with a lion.
 Horrified, prays:
- Oh, Great God! I beseech you, inspired this lion
 Christian feelings!
Leo sits on his hind legs, bows his head
and says:
- Bless the Lord, the food, which I now take.

 - At your age, sonny, Yesenin was already
a famous poet!
- And at your age, Dad, Yesenin been hanged!

In the shop:
- Sorry, you do not have meat?
- You are mistaken, we have no fish,
no meat at the store across the street.

World Health Organization has identified

symptoms of bird flu:
1. High temparatura
2. runny nose and cough
3. aches in the bones
4. uncontrollable desire to shit on someone's cornice.

 The wife tells her husband:
- Dear, today I did not have enough money, I went
to you at work, and since you did not have
on the spot, took from his jacket pocket $ 1000.
- Nothing, dear, I'm already a month working in another
department.

 At the cocktail party the wife to her husband:
- Are not you ashamed! You're ten times already running around with a plate of food! Do not be ashamed of yourself!
- No, I said it to you.