Calling Voices
~~ Okay so here is the next chapter. Wow it's been a while! And again I want to say that all your reviews are truly inspirational and I am soo thankful for all of them! Okay so I hope you all enjoy this chapter! :)~~




“ You want me to release him from prison?”

Doctor Richardson eyed the Warden cautiously, watching him rocking back and forth in his leather chair behind that great mahogany desk.

“ Not entirely. I was hoping he could be transferred to a psychiatric institution so he can be closely monitored by the doctors there. Prison is not the place for him right now.” He explained with a clear voice, hoping it would get his serious point across.

The Warden shook his head slowly and clasped his hands together in thought. “ Doctor, this man is a criminal. He nearly killed his family and you’re asking me to send him to some psycho hospital for a few weeks.”

“ With all due respect sir, that hospital is responsible for the rehabilitation of hundreds of mentally ill patients. Michael is definitely one of them, I can assure you.”

The Warden gave out a small laugh of disbelief and leaned forward against his desk, staring into the doctor’s eyes. “ Are you aware of the percentage of inmates who can easily fake a mental illness?”

“ Yes sir but this man had a mental and physical reaction to the photos of his family. He vomited all over the floor, now you tell me someone can just fake that. You tell me that someone can burst into tears in a matter of seconds after seeing their loved ones covered in bruises and lacerations. You tell me that someone can have a look of guilt so deep it makes you want to kill yourself.” He explained with a soft voice.

The room remained silent for several seconds as the Warden thought about all the evidence presented to him. With a sigh, he opened Mike’s file and grabbed a pen, glancing into the doctor’s hopeful eyes.

“ Doctor, the best I can do for him is transferring him to the minimum security unit. I am also ordering him to continue his sessions with you. If everything goes as planned, he can make a plead to the judge and hopefully reduce his sentence to nine months.”

“ Thank you sir.”

“ There is paperwork to be done. Have him taken down to blue unit while his new cell is being readied.” The Warden ordered.

Doctor Richardson nodded and began towards the door, but then stopped and turned around. “ Sir…Michael has made a request…”

“ And that is…”

The doctor swallowed hard and gave a small sigh, hoping the Warden would be compassionate enough to grant this wish.

“ He would like to speak with his wife…preferably over the phone if he could.”

“ That’s his right…granted.” The Warden sighed, writing a few things down in Mike’s file.

“ Thank you.” The doctor breathed once again and left the room, leaving the Warden to organize everything for Mike.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


“ Make it quick…”

Mike glanced behind him at the guard who was standing there impatiently with a bored look upon his face.

Yeah like five minutes is enough to speak to my wife who I haven’t said a word to in practically a month.

As Mike reached up to grab the receiver of the phone, he tried to ignore the cuffs around his wrists which were a constant reminder of all the horrible things he had done. He had been very thankful to have been transferred to minimum security because now when someone hassled him, it wasn’t because of racism. All they wanted was a cigarette or possibly the rest of his sandwich during lunch.

The other thing he noticed was how much more laid back the guards were in this unit. They weren’t always trying to pick a fight with the inmates or smacking the bars before lights out, thus scaring the hell out of Mike who only wanted to be alone with his quiet thoughts. These guards were much more friendly and compassionate towards the inmates and would sometimes ask if they were alright if they looked a little pale or even sad.

Mike of course was the one inmate the guards in the minimum security unit became easily concerned with. Not because he was dangerous or frightening but because he always had this forlorn look upon his face and there always seemed to have been tears in his eyes filled with heavy guilt. No matter how hard they tried, the guards and other inmates couldn’t get Mike to even crack a smile. He was often pale and shaky as well as constantly silent and no one, not even the doctor could break him out of it.

Mike was a very mysterious inmate and no one even knew what crime he had committed…that was until a news report on television (actually MTV) had received an update from one Chester Bennington about his colleague’s prison time. Rumors soon circulated around the minimum secure unit and eventually everyone knew what Mike had done to his family. They had all been shocked, not shocked based on the crime but shocked because they couldn’t believe that this shy, gentle person had done such a thing.

Mike ignored the guard and rolled his eyes at him. After all, it was nearing lunch time and it wasn’t uncommon for even the nicer guards to become impatient and grumpy. He dialed slowly while hearing the guard’s impatient groans and then pushed the receiver onto his ear, breathing shakily into it. What the hell was he going to say to her?

How would she react when she picked up the phone? Would she pick up the phone? If she did, would she say anything?

A few rings later, Mike’s mind began buzzing with nervous thoughts and pessimistic feelings towards this phone call. She probably hated him with all her heart and never wanted to see or hear him again. His heart stopped as a click was heard on the other end, causing him to swallow hard.

This was it.

“ Hello?”

Mike blinked quickly, realizing that he probably should have said something because the voice on the other end sounded very impatient.

“ Hello!” The voice this time was more forceful, almost ordering a response out of him. Then it hit him…it was Laura…and he REALLY did not want to talk to her. Talking to her would have been like talking to an angry bull, which in turn would have ruined his entire day…as if it weren’t ruined enough by being in prison. Besides, she’d probably just tell him how much of a bastard he was and how much she hated him.

It’s not like he didn’t already know that.

“ Jesus…” he muttered under his breath.

“ Who the hell is this?” she demanded.

“ No one, good bye…” he stated grumpily.

“ Wait…”

He listened as she breathed quietly, attempting to place the familiar voice somewhere within her mind. “ If you’re the tax guys I’ve already told you. The bills are on their way! Jesus Christ you people have no patience!” she almost shouted into Mike’s ear, causing him to lower his eyes.

“ Tax people-.”

“ –I’ve told you a million times to stop phoning. My mom is paying them as soon as she can but you know, money doesn’t grow on trees!”

Mike frowned at her ranting and looked down in thought. Tax people? Late bills? Were they having financial difficulties?

“ I swear to God, one of these days you people are going to get what’s coming to yo-.”

“ –Are you finished yet because I’m on a time limit here.” Mike interrupted with impatience.

Laura froze at the sound of his voice and nearly stopped breathing. It couldn’t be…could it?

“ Say again?” she asked shakily, not believing her own ears.

“ I asked if you were finished. I have a five minute phone call here and I really don’t want to waste it on you AND DON’T YOU DARE HANG UP!” He shouted the last part, knowing exactly what she was planning on doing.

“ I don’t want to talk to you Michael.” She growled.

“ Yeah well I wasn’t exactly keen on talking to you either. Is your mom there?” he demanded with a frown.

“ No, she went out with Xander and Chester to the park. I have to go…bye.”

“ No, Laura! I need you to tell-.” His words caught in his throat as he heard a click on the other end. With a loud growl, he slammed the receiver back onto the phone and ran his cuffed hands through his hair.

“ Fucking bitch…” he snarled and turned around, receiving a very stunned look from the guard who had never heard him speak at all.

“ I’m done, let’s go.” Mike breathed with angry eyes.

The guard nodded and took him by the arm, back to his cell and locked him in. Mike sat down on his small bed and leaned back against the white wall, feeling the cold shivering up his back. A few of the other inmates watched him closely, perplexed by his sudden outburst of anger while he was on the phone. The enigma that was Mike was slowly starting to be pieced together.

“ Hey man…you okay?”

Mike turned his head out into the hall and eyed the inmate in the cell across from him.

“ Yeah…” he muttered quietly, regaining his shyness and becoming silent once again.

“ Who were you talking to?”

Mike blinked slowly at the inmate across from him and slowly became aware of all the other inmates watching him as well. It was clear that Mike had become quite the popular interest in this cell block…basically because he was so silent and mysterious. They knew nothing about him, except what crimes he had committed. He didn’t blame them for being so curious…after all there wasn’t much entertainment or excitement within these walls.

“ My daughter…”

This peaked the interest of most of the inmates on the cell block and they all shuffled towards the bars to get a closer peek and a better listen. Mike felt like the famous story teller around the campfire…or perhaps the popular kid in high school.

“ You have a daughter?” The inmate across from his asked with wide eyes of amazement.

“ Yeah…and she annoys the hell out of me.” He explained quietly.

A few whispers were heard throughout the block, obviously of inmates informing other inmates of the news incase they didn’t quite hear him. Mike couldn’t believe that they were so interested in his life…which kind of reminded him of the fans he used to meet at all his concerts.

“ Y-you sounded angry with her…”

“ She fucking hung up on me…” He replied with a frown.

“ Which doesn’t surprise me because, you know I tried to kill her…” he continued casually.

The inmates stared at him in awe and interest as he gave a small smile, something of which he hadn’t done since he arrived in prison.

“ She hasn’t changed a bit…”

They watched him as he retracted deeper into his cell, out of eyesight from the other inmates. It was clear he didn’t want to be interrogated by inmates any further and out of respect, they returned to their daily routines of reading or watching TV…sometimes listening to the radio. Mike brought his knees back up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

Maybe he wasn’t as angry as he thought he was. After all, he DID get to speak with his daughter…although subconsciously he knew she’d hate him and hang up on him. None of that really mattered though because he had heard her voice. The one thing that was still a little unsettling about the phone call was that they were obviously being hassled by tax agencies.

With Mike in prison and Anna having to stay home most of the time with Xander while Laura was at school…there was no money coming into the household. Of course it would have been easy for Chester to just lend them a thousand bucks a month…but Anna didn’t want to be taking money from him. She hated the fact that perhaps they were broke and it was all because of Mike.

She still had her dignity to retain mind you, and accepting money would make her feel extremely vulnerable and dependant, those of which she never believed herself to be. Mike lowered his eyes with worry and concern, sighing uneasily at the fact that his family could be out on the street or living in the car soon.

Hopefully Chester wouldn’t allow that to happen…but convincing Anna to stay with him would take some fighting and it would be a very long battle. Mike closed his eyes and leaned his head down to his knees, feeling completely helpless in this situation. He just wished there was some way he could help…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Anna stared at the pile of bills silently as she sat at the centre island in the kitchen. For weeks they had been piling up and she still didn’t have enough money to pay off the first one let alone all the rest for the weeks she missed. This whole situation was beginning to become unbearable. Chester had finally given up on giving her money because he knew it was completely pointless to offer on account of Anna always denied it.

She was going to take care of her family her way…and by herself if necessary. Besides, Mike did this to them…and she was going to fix it. Laura came up the stairs from her room and watched her mother staring at the bills emotionlessly as if she were numb to the worry.

Since Mike’s prison stay, Laura had noticed that her mother’s mood had deteriorated substantially. She no longer smiled, nor made witty jokes when Chester came over. She was just an emotionless piece of flesh, living like a ghost among her family. Laura didn’t know if it was the money problem that had her so depressed…but figured it probably had something more to do with Mike. She knew she missed him…but couldn’t understand why.

He had tried to kill them and now she was mourning because he was in prison? That’s not right! She should be jumping with joy that he wasn’t around. Perhaps the love a wife has for a husband was something different…almost precious and maybe destroying it takes more than attempted murder. Laura rolled her eyes at this thought.

There’s no way she should still love him…after all, Laura had stopped loving him the moment he laid a hand on her.

“ Mom?”

Anna looked up at the soft voice of her daughter and blinked away a few tears. After all, she had to look strong in front of her children…right?

“ Oh hey…we came back early. Xander got tired…so did Chester…they’re both upstairs. Xander wanted Chester to read him a story…” she explained lightly with a small smile of confidence, feeling that she had to explain to her daughter why they came home so early from the park.

The truth was, Anna was the one feeling tired…physically and mentally over all this financial and emotional stress. Laura nodded a little and sat down across from her at the island.

“ Some more bills came this afternoon…I just thought you should know…” she explained uneasily.

Anna nodded a little and kept her smile…although it was twitching dangerously into tears. “ I’d expected as much.” She chuckled softly then shook her head in defeat.

Who was she kidding? She couldn’t keep smiling about this…it was ridiculous. Even Laura knew that the little money they had left would be gone by tomorrow.

“ Mom…are we going to be okay?” she asked quietly, while hearing Xander’s giggles from upstairs. Obviously Chester had made a funny face…or a funny voice while reading him a story.

Anna lowered her eyes and leaned against the island, avoiding all eye contact with the pile of bills. “ Yeah…sure we are. I just need to work some overtime-.”

“ –Mom…you have to stop this.”

Anna stared at her daughter with dark eyes, knowing exactly what she had meant by that. She had to stop downsizing the problem because in reality it was a massive problem…something they probably wouldn’t be able to get through. Even all the overtime in the world wouldn’t pay for an entire month of bills.

“ We’ll be fine Laura…I promise…” she whispered, even doubting her own words. Laura shook her head and glared at the massive stack of bills, piled in the corner.

“ No we’re not and you know that. Look, just take the money Chester is offering y-.”

“ –No. I don’t need his money. We are going to get through this on our own…” Anna stated clearly, trying to stop the wavering tears in her voice filled with frustration.

“ Mom we don’t have any food. Our electricity is going to be cut off in a few days and soon we won’t even have water. We are going to lose this house.” Laura whispered harshly, watching her mother flinch at her words. Sometimes the truth hurts worse than a lie.

Anna stared into Laura’s eyes and frowned suddenly, cocking her head. “ Don’t give me that look…your father invented it.” She stated with annoyance.

“ All I’m saying is that sometimes people need help from other people. You can’t always be independent mom-.”

“ –You don’t control my life Laura. Stop acting like you’re going to save this family.” She replied bitterly.

Laura sat back and glared, then crossed her arms. It was obvious her mother had no use for her…even though she was just trying to help.

“ Yeah well I’m not the one destroying it.”

Anna’s heart dropped at her daughter’s words. How could she say such a thing? Was she blaming her for losing all the money?

“ How dare you…”

“ How dare I? Listen to yourself mom! You think you’re going to fucking save this family but you’re not! You are not accepting any help and you are blaming everyone else for the money problem! Well I have news for you…asking Chester for help is in your family’s best interest and if you don’t do it you will be condemning us to death.”

Anna sat there in complete speechless silence for several moments. She hated this…she hated the fact that Laura’s words were true. She was killing her own family…and she felt like she was no better than Mike.

“ Laura…you don’t understand. I can’t accept money from Chester…it would be wrong. I can’t ask him to make that sacrifice. It’s not fair.”

“ Neither is starvation.” She replied with a deep glare.

“ Laura if you think we need help, then go out there and find a fucking job!” Anna nearly shouted, then stood up to pace around the kitchen in a fit of anger and frustration.

“ I’m sorry to say this mom but working part-time at some fast food joint is not going to pay these bills.” Laura explained quietly.

“ No but it will help.” She replied.

“ You know what? I’m done arguing about this. I’m going to bed…and by the way, Mike phoned this afternoon.”

Anna’s eyes widened as Laura began walking towards her room. “ Wait! Come here.”

Laura sighed uneasily and turned around, back into the kitchen.

“ He phoned?”

“ Yes.”

“ What did he want?”

Laura frowned and looked around the room in thought. “ He said he wanted to talk to you.”

“ About what?”

“ I don’t know, I hung up on the bastard.” Laura replied quickly.

“ Why?” Anna demanded in disbelief.

“ Um…I don’t know…maybe its because he’s a convict in a federal prison.”

“ Laura, I can’t believe you hung up on your father.” Anna stated with lowered eyes.

“ He’s not my father…” she muttered as the room became silent again. Anna stared at her for several minutes in silence, realizing that Laura had completely abandoned him as a father.

Well, she couldn’t really blame her after what he had done to them. Without another word, Laura proceeded back into her room and closed the door, signaling the end of the conversation. Anna frowned in thought as she wondered what Mike had possibly wanted to talk to her about.

Curiosity soon took over and it wasn’t long before she was considering phoning him. No…she couldn’t do that…she was still extremely pissed at him.

But there was something else she could do…



~~ So what does she plan to do??? OONESS come back for another chapter and you'll find out!! Reviews are highly appreciated and Thank you all soooo much for reading! It puts a smile on my face every day :)~~
I Don't Feel So Insecure
~~ Woot..thanks to the four people who reviewed on the last chapter...MANY THANKS...anyways, so here is the next one. It might be a little short...but there have been shorter lol. Anywhoo, enjoy! ps: I don't own any of the medications mentioned in this chapter :)~~



Anna checked her purse for her keys and made a face when they were no where to be found. She had been meaning to get rid of Mike’s escalade for a while now, even putting up a for sale sign in the window. Unfortunately the more she stared at that vehicle, the more it reminded her of Mike. Even the evergreen scent inside was enough to make her eyes well with tears.

It was a horrible and heart wrenching feeling every time she entered the truck and before she knew it, she was taking down the for sale sign. Laura had yelled at her for this, telling her that she wasn’t moving on like everyone else. Anna had merely dismissed the comment and walked away, leaving her daughter standing there with an open mouth. She just didn’t understand how her mother felt about getting rid of Mike’s truck. As the weeks flew by, the thought of her imprisoned husband managed to dissipate what with Xander’s birthday and the band coming over to celebrate.

Everyone seemed to have noticed how much more lively Anna had become. Perhaps missing Mike was the one thing holding her back, causing her to become irrational and depressed especially considering their current financial problems. It had taken some time but finally, Anna had detached herself emotionally from her husband…even becoming angry at his memory, choosing to suppress it within herself to make room for her family and friends.

There was only one thing left to do though, and she wasn’t very happy about it. Of course…it had to be done. Anna opened the closet, hoping that maybe her keys had fallen into a shoe or onto the floor but did not happen to find it there either.

“ Looking for these?”

Anna turned with a start, eyeing Laura twirling the silver keys around and around her index finger, while giving her mother a very suspicious look.

“ What are you doing with those?” She demanded with a deep frown of confusion.

“ You look like you’re going somewhere.”

“ I am.”

“ And where might that be?”

“ None of your business. Give me my keys.” Anna ordered sternly.

Laura crossed her arms and sighed heavily while shaking her head. “ You’re going to see him aren’t you?”

“ See whom?”

“ You know who I’m talking about.” Laura replied lightly.

Anna glared and snatched the keys from her hand, then adjusted her purse against her shoulder. “ I don’t know who you’re talking about and quite frankly I’m running late. Take care of your brother please and if anything happens, call Chester.”

“ Cell phones not aloud in prison?” Laura demanded.

Anna gave a heavy sigh and rolled her eyes, opening the door. “ I’m not discussing this.”

“ You’re making a major mistake Mom. Don’t go see hi-.”

“ –Be good.”

And with that, the conversation ended with the slamming of the door. Laura stood there in silence and glared at the closed door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


“ 556 you have a visitor!”

Mike sat up in his bed and eyed the guard curiously, feeling his heart stop for a brief moment. Did he just hear what he thought he heard?

“ Let’s go man, I don’t have all day.” The guard stated and banged the bars loudly, causing a few of the other inmates to flinch. Mike rubbed his eyes and walked towards the opening barred door.

He instinctively held out his wrists and felt the familiar tightening sensation from the cuffs. Who could have possibly wanted to visit him? With a short tug, two guards led him down the dimly lit hall and out into the large foyer, past a few potted plants for decoration and through another long corridor filled with cells.

The walk was long and every step he took made him shake and tremble at the thought of someone actually wanting to visit him. The last connection he had had with anyone was over the phone with Laura and she didn’t exactly sound too happy. Perhaps whoever came to visit him today would be angry as well…maybe even there to tell him that he wasn’t to come back into anyone’s lives. The guard before Mike opened a large metal door and held it open while the other guard pulled him in.

Mike squinted through the bright sunshine, coming in from the windows and reflecting off of the hard surface of the tables. Between each table was a thick bullet proof barrier, extending up towards the ceiling and cutting off the other side of the room. One side was for the visitor and the other, for the prisoner. Each table had its own receiver, allowing visitors and inmates to speak to each other. Mike blinked quickly as he was taken to the last table…then his heart stopped.

Anna looked up at him with dark eyes, watching his reaction to her presence. She half expected him to turn around and walked back through the door after what she had done to him. After all, he had to have been quite pissed to have been put in prison by his own wife. The only reaction she saw in him, was how shaky he was becoming.

The cuffs jingled lightly against his wrists as the guard pushed him down into the chair and walked back a few meters by the door, watching the couple staring at each other silently. Anna sighed inwardly at his presence and suppressed the urge to run away down the hall, back to the truck. She was scared…damn scared. The last time she had looked into his eyes was when he was tying her up on the floor. Right now, he didn’t really seem like the same person who nearly sliced her head off.

His dark eyes were soft and full of endless sorrow…sorrow she had never seen before. His face was visibly pale and his legs began to tremble violently beneath the table. As Anna watched his eyes shifting nervously from side to side, she found herself marveling at how different he looked without the earrings and usual dimpled grin. The once angry and malevolent person was now a shaking, fragile man who was trapped among violent predators and murderers in an endless game of who not to look directly in the eyes.

Mike cautiously grabbed the receiver with both hands and shakily pressed it against his ear, pleading to Anna with his eyes to pick up hers. Reluctantly, she gave a sigh and picked up the receiver and breathed heavily into it, not knowing if this was such a good idea.

“ No offense but…you look like Hell.”

Mike gave a weak smile and lowered his eyes at her comment. In essence, he literally felt like Hell. It didn’t help that he was practically convulsing with nerves in his chair.

“ Hi…” he replied shakily, finally using the voice he wasn’t aware he had. Anna leaned forward a little and swallowed hard. It was difficult to imagine that they hadn’t spoken to each other in almost over two months. Mike couldn’t help but feel extremely shy as he tried to come up with something to say to her. Well what could he say?

They weren’t exactly on good terms at the moment and he wasn’t about to screw that up even more. He had to choose his words carefully.

“ You l-look good…” he muttered into the small speaker of the phone. Anna nodded slightly, feeling her hair coming down around her eyes at the sudden movement.

“ The bruises have healed nicely…”

Mike sighed sadly at her response and lowered his head, giving his eyes a shaded look. Once again, he was left speechless. He could apologize, yes, but it didn’t seem very appropriate at the moment. After all, would it have mattered? He knew just by looking into her eyes that she didn’t trust him one bit…and probably didn’t trust a single thing he said.

“ How are you doing, Mike?”

The question surprised him greatly, for he wasn’t expecting her to actually take concern in how he was. Why did she care anyway?

“ Well…I’m in prison. If that doesn’t answer your question, I don’t know what does.” He muttered quietly.

“ Fair enough…” she replied lightly, feeling her courage beginning to bubble up once more. This wasn’t as hard as she thought it would have been. He wasn’t yelling or swearing at her, nor was he blaming her for anything. It was obvious he was aware of his mistakes and was paying for it.

“ I see you’ve been moved down to minimum security. How’d you pull that off?” she asked with an arched brow.

Mike looked up from the table and blinked slowly in thought. He wasn’t quite sure himself but…he was thankful he wasn’t among the rapists.

“ My psychiatrist…he thinks I’m mentally unstable, not dangerous.”

“ Well, no argument here.” She sighed.

Mike nodded a little and leaned against the table with both elbows while still clutching the receiver. “ What kind of help have you been receiving?” she asked after a long moment of thoughtful silence.

He swallowed hard and glanced at the guards behind him before replying. “ I’ve been having daily sessions with my psychiatrist to manage my anger problems. He’s also helping me deal with what happened to Laura four years ago. On top of that, I’ve been prescribed Valium and Zoloft…and other depression medications which also happen to manage my post traumatic stress disorder.”

“ What about your alcoholism?” she asked quietly.

Mike sighed heavily and stared down at the table in thought. “ Meetings, programs, you name it…I went. Plus since I’m on all this medication, I’m too high to even care about the alcohol. It won’t be a problem anymore.” He explained slowly, making sure she heard him quite clearly.

Anna nodded with acknowledgement and watched as he lifted his head with a keen interest in the next question he was about to ask.

“ How are the kids?”

Anna swallowed hard and lowered her eyes sadly and Mike didn’t exactly see this as a good sign. “ Well…they’re fine, for the most part. Xander had his fourth birthday last month…we had everyone over and I believe he had a good time. He was all smiles and giggles at the end of the day.”

Mike gave a weak smile and blinked hard, attempting to hide the coming tears.

“ He started kindergarten last week…”

“ Yeah? How’d it go?” he asked lightly with a breaking voice.

“ Well he was a little scared at first and wouldn’t let go of my hand. But then he met the teacher and a few of the other kids and it wasn’t long before he was in the playground playing with them. He even kept boasting about how his daddy’s a rock star.”

Mike gave a small chuckle and lowered his head with amusement, still fighting with tears. “ Sounds like he had a good time.”

“ He did…” Anna replied with a small smile.

“ What about Laura?” Mike asked shakily, subconsciously knowing this wasn’t going to be happy news. Anna sighed heavily and shook her head in thought, still remembering Laura’s angry eyes when she found out she was going to the prison to visit Mike.

“ Suffice it to say she hates you. Every time someone mentions you, she becomes angry and defensive…but I guess that’s just a sign of love. She may seem hard and cold-hearted towards you but I believe she really misses you.”

“ Believing and knowing are two different things.” Mike stated flatly, knowing that Anna was just trying to make him feel better. She stared at him with pity and worry because really, he didn’t need that kind of news considering his already low self-esteem and guilt.

“ What about you?” He asked quietly, already sensing her discomfort towards the question.

“ I’m fine.”

“ Then what’s with the money problems?”

She stared at him with wide eyes of shock, feeling her hands beginning to shake. “ How did yo-.”

“ –When I phoned the house, Laura picked up and thought I was a tax guy. She kept going on about late bills. Are you going to tell me what’s going on or am I going to have to figure it out myself?”

Anna lowered her eyes into a frown and sat back a little, not wanting to venture into this conversation. “ I told you…we’re fine.”

“ You don’t sound fine. Laura sounded worried and stressed about it.”

“ Michael don’t try to fix this. Besides, it’s none of your business.” She snapped, looking around the room nervously.

He raised his eyes in disbelief and breathed out heavily. “ Excuse me, last time I checked I was still part of this family.” He stated with a furrowed brow.

“ Not for long…” She muttered with dark eyes.

Mike’s furrowed brow soon twisted into a deep glare of confusion at her words. “ I beg your pardon? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“ It means you are no longer part of this family.” She replied coldly.

Mike sat there in silenced shock for a few moments before the realization began to enter into his mind. “ What the hell are you saying?”

“ I’m saying I want a divorce-.”

“ –Jesus Anna, don’t do this…” he whimpered desperately with lowered eyes.

“ Not only that, I have issued a restraining order against you effective immediately when you get out. 2000 meters Mike…even though I don’t think that’s quite enough.” She explained.

“ Anna you can’t do this…” he stated shakily through his teeth.

“ Its my family…they’re my children and I will do what I think is best for them…even if that means keeping their father away from them forever.”

“ Anna d-don’t…don’t take them out of my life…” he pleaded quietly through the receiver.

“ It’s over Mike. You screwed up and now you’re going to pay for it.”

“ They’re my children Anna. They’re the only thing I have!” He cried.

She watched the crystal tears streaking down his cheeks and briefly re-considered what she was about to do. But then, she remembered her children’s teary eyes and bruises…and quickly regained her strength.

“ I’m taking them out of your life…so you can’t hurt them.” She explained calmly.

Mike lowered his head and blinked out a few more tears, then cried out in his final attempt to make her hear him.

“ Anna…I love them…even though it may not seem that way. I’ll admit what I did to them was disgusting and wrong but if you take them out of my life…I won’t be able to survive…” he stated with trembling lips.

She leaned forward slightly and stared into his wet, dark eyes with a heavy heart. She didn’t like what she was doing to him but it had to be done.

“ Michael…you had your chance and you ruined it. I cannot allow you to be a part of their lives. You’re on your own from now on…”

He stared at her desperately as she began to stand up, slamming the receiver onto the wall. Mike swallowed hard and frowned with pleading eyes, then banged on the window lightly.

“ Anna, wait…wait!”

She turned around slowly and watched as he began pointing to the receiver, signaling to her that he had something else to say. Reluctantly, she sat back down and stared at him silently, unmoving.

“ P-please…” he cried, pointing to the phone again. Anna slowly picked it up and held it to her ear, then gave a heavy sigh.

“ What now?”

“ Anna please just listen to me for a second.”

“ I’m listening Michael.” She replied quietly.

He swallowed his tears and cleared his throat, readying himself for his last desperate chance to see his children.

“ C-could you at least…could I see them? P-please…I just want to see them one last time before you completely rip them out of my life…”

“ I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” she replied uneasily.

Mike lowered his eyes and felt the hot tears running down his crimson cheeks. “ Anna…I’m begging you. I just want to tell them I’m sorry. I know it won’t make up for all that torture but…I just want them to hear me…” he explained brokenly.

She stared at him silently, watching the guilt of his crimes soaking his face.

“ I-I just…I want to say goodbye…” he whimpered quietly into the receiver. Anna gave a heavy sigh and stared at him in thought, watching his dark eyes scanning her desperately for a response. Finally, her heart gave in…as it always did when he cried.

“ Alright…I’ll talk to them about it but I’m not guaranteeing anything. They might not want to see you…and you have to remember that…” she explained uneasily.

He nodded a little and swallowed hard, sighing out with relief. “ I know…thank you…”

“ Take care Mike…” She stated quietly, then slowly hung up the receiver once again and stood up. Mike watched her leave the room through the door and walk down the hallway towards the main entrance.

It wasn’t long before the guards pulled him out of the chair and hauled him back to his cell. The rest of the afternoon, he took comfort in knowing that at least he might get the chance to see his children…one last time…

Everybody's got their problems
Everybody says the same things to you
It's just a matter how you solve them
And knowing how to change the things you've been through

I feel I've come to realize
How fast life can be compromised
Step back to see what's going on
I can't beleive this happened to you
This happened to you

It's just a problem that I'm faced with am I
Not the only one who hates to stand by
Complications that are first in this line
With all these pictures running through my mind

Knowing endless consequences
I feel so useless in this
Get back, step back, and as for me,
i can't believe.

Part of me, won't agree
Cause I don't know if it's for sure
Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure

Part of me, won't agree
Cause I don't know if it's for sure
Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure
Anymore

Everybody's got their problems
Everybody says the same things to you
It's just a matter how you solve them
But what else are we supposed to do

Part of me, won't agree
Cause I don't know if it's for sure
Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure

Part of me, won't agree
Cause I don't know if it's for sure
Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure
Anymore

Why do things that matter the most
Never end up being what we chose
Now that I find no way so bad
I don't think I knew what I had

Why do things that matter the most
Never end up being what we chose
Now that I find no way so bad
I don't think I knew what I had

{Song: Hell Song}
{Artist: Sum 41}

~~ Okay so i hope you enjoyed this chappie and there is more to come soon. Yes...this fics seems to be taking forever but don't worry, it will end sometime lol. Thank you all so much for reading and don't forget to let me know what you thought on your way out! :)~~
Confidence, Hope And Decisions
~~ Whoa!! Welcome back!!! I just want to say: OMG! WOW!! THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WHO REVIEWED SO FAR!! You guys seriously rock like no one's ever rocked before! *gets all teary eyed* Millions of Thanks to you all...your encouraging words mean so much to me. Enjoy! :)~~




“ Absolutely fucking not.”

Anna lowered her eyes and glanced uneasily towards Chester whose shaded face shared the same expression. This was hopeless…she was never going to agree.

“ Laura, he’s your father-.”

“ –No he’s not. He lost that right the moment he smacked me in the face and pushed me to the floor. I’ve had it with him and I hope he rots in that prison!”

“ Couldn’t you at leased consider-.”

“ –Hell no! You are not going to force me to think about this. I’m finished with this conversation!”

Anna sighed heavily as Laura marched towards her room and slammed the door so hard it made the walls around the kitchen vibrate and shake. Anna sunk into a chair near the kitchen table and lowered her eyes with fatigue. Chester sat down beside her and raised his eyes in thought, nodding slightly.

“ That went well…”

“ You should have been here when I told her Mike was her father. The scream probably reached a whole new decibel of sound.” She replied with a raspy voice of weariness, then began rubbing her temples in an attempt to ease her coming headache.

Chester made a small smirk and wrapped his arm around her, allowing her to rest her head against his shoulder. In moments like this, she was glad he was here because she didn’t think she’d be able to cope without someone to lean on.

“ Do you think she’ll ever be convinced to see him? Because when you went to see him, you told me he’s changed right? Maybe she’ll realize that and maybe forgive him…”

“ Chester I haven’t even forgiven him yet, what makes you think she will?” she demanded with a furrowed brow.

“ I don’t know…the father/daughter bond tends to be quite strong.”

“ Maybe not strong enough…” she breathed in response before closing her eyes in thought. She sighed heavily at her own memories of when they first met…all those fights and swearing mixed with name calling and smacking upside the head. She would give anything to go back to those moments and relive them because frankly, she was tired of all this hating and distance. Even though they were always fighting, it was out of love.

“ I remember when Laura had cut herself on a butcher knife while I was away at work…” Chester stared down at Anna as she opened her eyes in recollection.

“ I didn’t know about until I came home…and when I saw the blood all over the counters, I wondered if Mike had chopped her up into little bitty pieces…”

Chester smiled a little and sighed inwardly at the comment.

“ It wasn’t until after freaking out that I realized Mike had taken care of everything…even bandaged her and gave her some medication to deal with the pain. I believe that was the first parental instinct he had ever had…you know, sensing that his daughter was in danger. He was scared…scared that she was hurt even though it was a minor cut.”

“ Sounds like he did the right thing…” Chester replied softly, watching Anna nod with agreement.

“ He did…and I’ll never forget the look in his eyes the moment he realized he was her father. It was almost like an awakening knowing that this child was his flesh and blood…and she almost got herself seriously injured.”

“ Do you think he still cares about her like that?” Chester asked with a slight frown, silently filling in the answer himself.

“ I think he does. It’s just that…when I was at the prison talking to him, I just couldn’t help but feel his guilt, you know? It was as if it was so heavy within him…that I saw it in his eyes and heard it in his voice. I believe he is truly sorry for what he has done and he knows he can’t get away from what he did. The guilt of what he did is going to follow him to his grave…”

“ Mommy, where’s Laura?”

Anna looked up from the floor and gave a weak smile, pointing to her room.

“ She’s in her room sweetie…”

“ Kay…” Xander stated lightly and grabbed the doorknob tightly, opening the large white door. He padded down the carpeted stairs clumsily and jumped onto the bottom from the third step, knowing full well that his mother always scolded him for jumping off from that high.

But of course, he didn’t care…it was just fun. Besides, his Dad used to do it all the time.

“ Laura!” He squeaked, entering the room in a small jog. The teen lifted her head from her pillow slightly and frowned at him, then rolled her eyes and stuffed her face back into the pillow once again.

“ Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura-.”

“ –What! What the hell do you want!” She yelled, stopping his train of ‘Laura’s’.

Xander jumped onto her bed and crawled over beside her, leaning down near her face. “ You susposed to help me read.” He stated as-a-matter-of-factly.

“ Go watch TV.” She ordered; her voice muffled within the fabric of the pillow.

“ No! Help me read!’ He shouted into her ear, causing her to growl with a few muttered obscenities.

“ Dammit, why can’t you watch TV like all the other kids. Jesus Christ, you’re going to turn into a nerd by the time you’re twelve.” She explained, then rolled over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.

“ Nah, he’ll just be a workaholic like his Dad.”

Laura turned her vision towards the other side of the bed and watched as Chester slowly walked towards her. “ What do you want Chester?”

“ I wanted to talk to you.”

“ I’m not visiting that pig.” She snarled up at him.

“ What makes you think that’s what I wanted to talk to you about?” he asked with a small frown, sitting down on the side of her bed.

“ Because it’s always about HIM. Why can’t we talk about someone else for a while?” she demanded.

Chester smiled as Xander jumped into his lap and grabbed his arms, then began playing with his spiked bracelets. “ Okay…let’s talk about you then.” He replied softly.

“ Why me?”

“ Because the world revolves around you.” He muttered sarcastically, receiving a pillow in his face. Laura frowned and sat up as Chester blinked away the force of the pillow hitting his face and shook his head lightly, hearing a giggle from Xander.

“ That was so unnecessary.” He stated quietly with lowered eyes. Laura growled under her breath and stared down at her comforter, poking at the black fabric.

“ I don’t want to talk about me either.”

“ That’s too bad because I really wanted to find out why you don’t want anyone talking about your Dad.”

“ Because I hate him.”

“ That’s a really bad answer Laura. You can’t just avoid talking about him because you ‘hate’ him.” He explained with an arched brow of interest. She grumbled lightly and listened to the jingling of Chester’s bracelets as Xander continued to play with them.

“ Okay fine, you wanna know the truth? I don’t want people talking about him because it just makes me remember that he’s not here. And when I realize he’s not here, I start to remember why…and when that happens I start hurting because I can’t believe that someone who supposedly loves me, could threaten to kill me.” She explained, feeling her voice breaking from within.

“ Is that why you don’t want to see him?” He asked softly as Xander struggled to find a more comfortable positing in his lap.

Laura looked up slowly and sniffed a little, then shook her head. The answer was so simple yet she felt stupid that it wasn’t deeper than that. Why was this the only reason? Perhaps this reason was deeper than she thought…perhaps the feeling was much darker than she had anticipated. With each moment of silence between her and Chester, she felt the feeling beginning to grow and rise within her blood, causing a cold chill to run up her spine.

“ I’m afraid.”

Chester lowered his eyes sympathetically and sighed. “ Laura, its okay to be scared. What Mike did would frighten any of u-.”

“ –That’s not why I’m scared.” She interrupted softly, her eyes deep in thought.

“ W-well…well then why are you so scared to visit him?” he asked quietly with confusion. Laura swallowed hard and tried to suppress the coming tears that she felt burning her dark eyes.

“ I’m not afraid of what he did to us. I’m afraid of what he has become. He is this weak, fragile man who used to be stronger than anyone I’ve ever known. My father is in prison…and we have no money. I hate saying it but without him we’re going to starve to death. He is our last hope at survival and it disgusts me because he tried to kill us. Not only that…I’m frightened because I feel guilty about hating him so much. I’m frightened because if I look into his eyes, I won’t know whether I’m going to desperately cry out to him for help…or scream at him to leave us the hell alone.”

Chester sat there silently for several moments, just thinking about what she had said. He slowly began to understand the fear she had and why she did not want to visit her father in prison. Going or not, it would hurt her immensely and he knew she didn’t want to choose between seeing him for the last time or never seeing him again.

“ You still love him?” he asked.

Laura gave a short laugh and shook her head at his question. How anyone could have possibly asked that was beyond her. Wasn’t it pretty obvious how she felt about him?

“ Ask me that in about twenty years…then maybe I’ll have the answer.” She replied softly, watching her brother’s deep brown eyes scanning hers slowly. She knew that look…her father always had that quizzical look when there was something he didn’t understand or something he needed to ask.

“ Laura?”

Here it comes.

“ What?” she replied and cleared her throat, trying to get rid of the lump forming.

“ We gonna see Daddy?”

Chester stared at Laura while she began considering what she could do. Two options…see him or not. Pretty simple right? Wrong. Those were the two biggest decisions she’d ever be making and to tell the truth it was pretty damn hard trying to figure out if she wanted to see her abusive father or completely rip him out of her life for good without even a single good bye or something said that would make him understand how much he hurt her.

It all came down to this. To go or not to go. With a heavy sigh of thought, she raised her eyes from the comforter and stared into her brother’s dark eyes once again, watching the vitreous fluid glisten beneath the warm lights of the room.

“ Yeah…we’re going to go see Daddy…”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



His cell was dark as it usually was this time of night. Most of the inmates on the cell block would have their little black and white televisions on low and their lamps dimmed. Mike however chose not to watch a single thing on TV and not to turn on any lights.

Night time was HIS time…his time to reflect on all the horrible things he had ever done to anyone in his life. It was as if the night time hours cloaked his unemotional barrier from the day and allowed him time for remorse. He hadn’t always been the one to completely break down in sobs when the going got tough in prison but tonight was different.

He was hoping and praying that somehow his children would want to at least come see him…they didn’t have to talk to him or anything. All they really had to do was listen…listen to their father’s shaking voice, telling them how horrible he felt and that he doesn’t deserve to live. He kept going through the thought of seeing his children for the last time and going through all the possible scenarios in his mind.

They’ll hate me for sure. Xander probably won’t even look at me…and Laura…Laura will just be so blinded by her anger that she won’t see how guilty I really am for all of this.

I can just see it now…she’s staring at me with those dark eyes so full of rage and it’s all I can see. She won’t speak…she will remain silent with those judging eyes until I break out in a fit of sobs. I’ll try to explain to them how sorry I really am but they won’t listen. They hate me…they want me locked up…they want me dead. Then it will all be over…without even a single good bye or a take care. They’ll just walk out of my life and leave me alone forever.

The mental images flashed through his brain like a thunderstorm over a hanging cliff. All his love and all his strength seemed to have been mingling as one…fading into the pouring rain and dripping off the cliff into the darkness.

The only thing he had left was his guilt and an overwhelming sense of sorrow…that no one could break him out of. His children, the light of his life…they were fading into the darkness as well and casting a deep shadow over his heart, causing him to sob out in sorrowful agony. He pressed his face into his stiff pillow and let the warm tears rise through his lashes and fall onto the already moist material. His deep gut wrenching cries were muffled within the material of his pillow, for he dared not let his pain echo and bound off the black walls of his cage.

Gripping the pillow with all his might, he let his nails dig into his palms, creating deep indentation ready to be bursting with blood at any moment. The shaking and convulsing of his body only added to the obvious pain this man was going through during the cool spring night. Silver stars glistened through the black globe above his tiny window, casting long shadows across the cement of his cell, catching each shudder his body was making and causing them to dance wildly against the grey floor.

All throughout the night, even as the static televisions disappeared and the dim lights faded, he continued to weep into his pillow silently, choking on all his tears and swallowing his remorse. It was in that moment that he finally understood the real meaning of prison…not the actual building itself, but the barrier inside his own heart causing his emotions to rattle and bang against the proverbial cage. All his sadness and sorrows were fighting to escape in a mad hurricane of emotions, smacking into guilt and jumbling up the heavy love he carried for his family.

As the silent night dragged on, his confidence and courage became locked up so tightly that he believed them never to be released again. He felt like his whole world was ending, that his life was over. He felt depressingly lonely in his small six by nine cell, continuing to cry out for anyone to help him escape his emotional torment.

Then it was over…with one small breeze whispering through the skies.

The choking stopped.

The shaking stopped.

The sobbing stopped.

Complete silence dominated his mind as he stared into the pitch black cell. His heart throbbed, neither for sorrow nor guilt…but for the one thing he still held true to himself, the one thing he still believed in.

Hope.

The hope that his family would survive.

The hope that his band mates would carry on without disgusted humiliation, eating at their hearts.

The hope that he would be able to see his precious children’s faces one last time before he was pulled into the depths of his own emotional prison, holding onto their image to keep his sorrowful heart from failing…

Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide
voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time
the night is my companion, and solitude my guide
would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?
and I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear
Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed

trying to find an honest word to find
the truth enslaved
oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard

I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear
Into this night I wander
it's morning that I dread
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread
oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride

nothing stands between us here
and I won't be denied
and I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard

I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes...


{Song: Possession}
{Artist: Sarah McLachlan}

~~ Hope you enjoyed this chapter and more to come soon! Muhaha...kay anyways, I am so very conflicted with this plot right now because I have 2 possible ways to end this fic and i'm not sure which one to choose...hmm..i'll give it some more thought. Anywhoo, tell me what you thought of this chapter and Thank you all soooo much for reading! :)~~