hehe:) |
MissHoney все записи автора
You Know You're From Toronto When... |
A really great parking spot can move you to tears. You can recommend about 3 good body piercing parlours. You make well over $100,000 and you still can't find a nice place to live. You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than Canadian Flags. When the temperature rises above zero degrees, you yell "Woohooo! Patio weather!" You enjoy watching channel 47 multicultural TV You're guaranteed to know at least one person on every episode of Speaker's Corner. You haven't been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator. You've had at least 3 bicycles stolen in the past 10 years. You've partied with at least one of the members of The Kids in the Hall You've fantasized about having sex in Casa Loma At least 3 of your friends have moved to Vancouver You turn your nose up at any establishment frequented by the S&M crowd. (Scarborough and Mississauga) You never, never, never swim in the lake You know "The Beaches" are really called "The Beach", but still say "The Beaches" just to annoy all the nitwits who live there You ever had a birthday party at the Organ Grinder or The Mad Hatter You can say "world's tallest freestanding structure" ten times fast You know the correct answer to "Where do shopping carts go to die?" is "The Don River" You speak better Chinese than French The word "cabbagetown" doesn't strike you as particularily amusing Castle Frank subway station remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for you. You know what the bathrooms in the First Canadian Place are REALLY for You don't know where Fort York is, but have a vague recollection of being there in a past life You know the Demic's song "I Wanna Go To New York City" was intended as sarcasm, not a weekend getaway suggestion You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai and a dildo at 3 am on a weeknight For the last time, it's pronounced 'TRONNA'! You consider eye contact a sign of hostility and an invasion of your privacy. It takes you half an hour to get to work by TTC and you are the envy of all your friends. You mourned the death of the Spadina Bus. You know someone who went to high school with at least one member of The Barenaked Ladies or RUSH You laugh heartily at people who refer to highway four hundred and one. You've taken the vomit comit. You can manuver your bike across Queen st. without getting caught in the streetcar tracks. You know the difference between souvlaki, moussaka and spanakoptia. You can name at least three locations of The Beer Store that are open till 11 PM. You have NEVER been to the Hard Rock Cafe You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Toronto. |
MissHoney
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You Know You're Russian When.... |
Your car costs more than your college education Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter you have been drinking or not Any outfit you wear involves leather (even in the summer even when no coats are worn) Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it raving with 200-300 of your closest friends Your idea of a love song is Track 1 of the New York Underground Party Volume 3 CD. Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone Instead of notes during class you write text messages to your friends in Russian font You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something...and you can Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy" You know the new line of Nokia's 3 months before they come out on the market You can't go to the movies on Sunday night without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki You don't mind family get-togethers because you know the grandmas will be making dinner You know all the cops by their first names You know someone who works at a dental lab You are somehow related to most of the people you know On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 2 You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper Your Honda is a 5-speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of shmal'... Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employee of the KGB You have been kicked out of the JCC at least twice for trying to sneak in without paying. You can be identified as "Russian" by your scent (D&G or Aqua de Gio cologne). The waitresses at Omega know your order even before you say anything. Most of the time you get "Gypsy". You met your girl playing strip durak at the last party you went to. Everyone you know has a ruchka of smirnoff in their trunk. You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself). You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas You have to tell your parents what channel is "YOUR" HBO, Showtime, Per-View is on. Your parents have computer "experience" for 8 years already on the resume, yet they been in US for only 4... You major in Computer Science or in worst case scenario Information Systems (but you still barely know how to turn on a computer). You have a personalized license plate. When you are going downtown you ride in one of the last two train carts. Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with "So what are we doing tonight?" Most of your clothes are fake brand names but you "just can't tell them apart from the real ones." Your fake id is the International Driving License who you got through your friend who goes to Kingsburough. You used to work out, but you don't anymore. If you do workout, you must wear all you golden chains and bracelets. Lifting a cigarette while drinking coffee counts as an exercise. You have a fake Movado because you can't afford a real Rolex. Once in a while you attempt to go to synagogue but you never make it past the door because you meet so many people you haven't seen for so long. Some English words like "use, shop, apply, and etc." permanently become a part of your conversational You're proud to be Russian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Russian friends! |
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