“Hello Hawaii, this is Dr. Koothrappali, from Pasadena. I’d like you to repostion the telescope please. SACRLETT JOHANSON’S HOUSE!” — Rajesh Koothrappali, The Big Bang Theory 4x09

Penny: you know what I've been doing for the last hour? Leonard: Hmm, dreamly doodling Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter on your notebook?

Sheldon: What was that?
Rajesh: My stomach. Indian food doesn’t agree with me. Ironic isn’t it?

Leonard: What are you doing? Sheldon: Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment, I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself a bowl of cereal, added a quarter-cup of 2% milk, sat on this end of this couch, turned on BBC America, and watched Doctor Who. Leonard: Penny's still sleeping. Sheldon: Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment, I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself a bowl of cereal... Leonard: You have a TV in your room, why don't you just have breakfast in bed? Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.

People always want to know if I’m as smart as Sheldon, which is just absurd. I mean, bless their hearts. It’s sweet that they feel compelled to ask. But sadly, no.